Book?? Review *****

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nmblum88
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Book?? Review *****

Post by nmblum88 » Sat Feb 06, 2010 7:40 pm

A friend recently recommended that I seek out the book reviews of one Gen. JC Christian, an Amazon.com customer with eclectic tastes and a predilection for literature that skeptics and particularly atheists might easily miss.
I did, and have been a fan of the General's ever since...
So time to share, today the title of what seems like a winner of a volume for anyone interested in social policy OR biology, or simply in what improvements can be wrought on what is claimed to be god's design..
A book I never heard of before, followed by my now favorite reviewer's assessment:
"Leaving Homosexuality: A Practical Guide for Men and Women Looking for a Way Out"
by Alan Chambers
Edition: Paperback
Price: $9.59
Availability: In Stock, from Amazon.com
21 used & new from $7.19
245 of 251 people found the following review helpful:4.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely Fabulous, July 26, 2009:

[b ]With the possible exceptions of The Bible, Hemingway's A Farewell to Arms, and Carle's The Very Hungry Caterpillar, "Leaving Homosexuality" is the best book ever written on the subject of repressing one's inner homosexual. It is absolutely fabulous.

As a non-practicing homosexual, Alan Chambers has years of experience suppressing his most basic feelings and urges. He understands that one never overcomes homosexuality; one merely creates a character, a heterosexual character, and lives the rest of his or her life as if it were a play; no, not a play--the theater is not very hetero--it's more like living life as a character in a Chuck Norris movie but with God in the Norris role.

That said, I was very troubled by one particular piece of advice he offered. Actually, not by the advice itself, but by what would happen after following such advice. It's in Chapter 9, "Dealing with Temptations and Critics." It's the part where he writes about "imagin[ing] every temptation through to completion." That does not sound like a very effective strategy to me.

Think about it. Is it even possible to imagine the temptation through to climax? I mean, hey, you start out thinking about a sailor and how his big deck gun strains against the tight fabric of his cute little sailor suit and the next thing you know, you're patting your robertson like your the USS Arkansas pounding Rommel's positions at Normandy. And that's if you're able to restrain yourself. If not, you're sliding into a pair of assless chaps and running off to one of those biker bars where none of the bikers ride bikes.

There's no resisting it; homosexuality's siren song is way too strong. That's why you need an after action strategy, one that punishes you for giving into temptation, one that involves a big, muscular, hairy, leather-draped guy named Gunther wielding an Oxo Good Grips Brushed Stainless Steel Spatula. Only that, only the delicious redemption of Gunther's sting on your tautly-muscled masculine butt, over and over again until you scream out the Lords name, "Jesus, yes, oooooooh Jesus" will allow you to once again achieve the level of self-denial you'll need to perform in life's Chuck Norris movie."
.[/b]
Comment Comments (14) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jan 20, 2010 2:37 AM PST
Skepticism:
" Norma, you poor sad lonely alcoholic. You entire life is devoted to interrupting other people's posts on this forum, regardless of the topic, to tell them what's wrong with them. The irony is, here you are doing it again, with this very post.
Your fanciful card games, movie sojourns and exciting overseas trips, that all take place within the four walls of an aged care retirement home, do not suggest your own children offered you the care, I gave my parents."

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Lausten
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Re: Book?? Review *****

Post by Lausten » Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:17 pm

That was beautiful. Here is my personal favorite review from Amazon.com. It is still the number one review for the hardcover version of "The Secret".


Please allow me to share with you how "The Secret" changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life. It is well known that the premise of "The Secret" is the science of attracting the things in life that you desire and need and in removing from your life those things that you don't want. Before finding this book, I knew nothing of these principles, the process of positive visualization, and had actually engaged in reckless behaviors to the point of endangering my own life and wellbeing.

At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life.

My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Marcus who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine). Marcus elaborated further that I could expect to be raped by him on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes.

Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15. I returned to my cell and sat very quietly, searching myself for answers on how I could improve my life and distance myself from harmful outside influences. At that point, in what I consider to be a miraculous moment, my cell mate Jim Norton informed me that he knew about the Marcus situation and that he had something that could solve my problems. He handed me a copy of "The Secret". Normally I wouldn't have turned to a self help book to resolve such a severe and immediate threat but I literally didn't have any other available alternatives. I immediately opened the book and began to read.

The first few chapters deal with the essence of something called the "Law of Attraction" in which a primal universal force is available to us and can be harnessed for the betterment of our lives. The theoretical nature of the first few chapters wasn't exactly putting me at peace. In fact, I had never meditated and had great difficulty with closing out the chaotic noises of the prison and visualizing the positive changes that I so dearly needed. It was when I reached Chapter 6 "The Secret to Relationships" that I realized how this book could help me distance myself from Marcus and his negative intentions. Starting with chapter six there was a cavity carved into the book and in that cavity was a prison shiv. This particular shiv was a toothbrush with a handle that had been repeatedly melted and ground into a razor sharp point.

The next day in the exercise yard I carried "The Secret" with me and when Marcus approached me I opened the book and stabbed him in the neck. The next eight weeks in solitary confinement provided ample time to practice positive visualization and the 16 hours per day of absolute darkness made visualization about the only thing that I actually could do. I'm not sure that everybody's life will be changed in such a dramatic way by this book but I'm very thankful to have found it and will continue to recommend it heartily.
A sermon helper that doesn't tell you what to believe: http://www.milepost100.com

nmblum88
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Re: Book?? Review *****

Post by nmblum88 » Mon Feb 08, 2010 10:48 pm

At last.... Lausten, Norma... a meeting of minds, and over, of all things, the value of "the Secret!"
Miracles DO occur, and I am looking forward to a follow-up, a review of that really, REALLY helpful volume for practicing evangelists, their ticket for "next stop, Salvation." without depending of the caprice of last minute conversions during those end-of-days of the world.

I refer, of course, to "the Art of Shiv Making: If God Wanted You to Be Defenseless, He Would Have Made You Without Hands."..." which I understand was written by St, Paul, when he was still little Saully of Tarsus, recommending weapons of individual destruction for Jews to keep under their beds and on their persons in order to avoid the assaults of the not so benevolent Christian Evangelism.
But as we know, , "the Art of Shiv Making, etc.." was found and co-opted by Christians, along with the whole Paulian package,
And the rest is ...more or less.. history (for people who prefer not to know any).

NMB
Skepticism:
" Norma, you poor sad lonely alcoholic. You entire life is devoted to interrupting other people's posts on this forum, regardless of the topic, to tell them what's wrong with them. The irony is, here you are doing it again, with this very post.
Your fanciful card games, movie sojourns and exciting overseas trips, that all take place within the four walls of an aged care retirement home, do not suggest your own children offered you the care, I gave my parents."

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Lausten
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Joined: Sun Dec 06, 2009 6:33 pm
Location: Northern Minnesota

Re: Book?? Review *****

Post by Lausten » Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:37 pm

I haven't read that one yet, but I thought you would appreciate this.

http://www.doubtcast.org/podcast/the_body_of_christ_and_lube.png

The guys over at Reasonable Doubts found that people who bought communion wafers on amazon.com also bought Astroglide personal lubricant. I can't even come with good jokes about the images that brings up.

They talk about it in their most recent episode if you want the details.
A sermon helper that doesn't tell you what to believe: http://www.milepost100.com