One Night between 3 and 4 AM

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Alexander941
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One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Alexander941 » Sat Sep 20, 2014 11:19 pm

What would you do if, one night, you would wake up, look around and spot one of those hydrocephalic, grey little Aliens?

Would you grab your bed-mounted rifle and fire, would you scream as loud as possible, would you run, or would you try to talk and negotiate your way out of a long and painfull probing?

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by octopus1 » Sun Sep 21, 2014 3:23 am

I would "present".
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Gord » Sun Sep 21, 2014 5:04 pm

I would go touch it.
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by scrmbldggs » Sun Sep 21, 2014 6:35 pm

I would first scream. Then tell it I have a headache.

If it wouldn't go away, or behave, it would be invited to volunteer plenty of tissue samples.
.
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by octopus1 » Mon Sep 22, 2014 12:22 am

Alexander941 wrote:What would you do if, one night, you would wake up, look around and spot one of those hydrocephalic, grey little Aliens?

Would you grab your bed-mounted rifle and fire, would you scream as loud as possible, would you run, or would you try to talk and negotiate your way out of a long and painfull probing?
(This did not go as planned, did it :P)
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Matthew Ellard » Mon Sep 22, 2014 12:47 am

Gord wrote:I would go touch it.
Well "God" left nature's basic tool, "the stick" lying around on the ground everywhere. I'd just keep prodding the alien with a stick until it did something.
Grey Alien.jpg
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Gord » Mon Sep 22, 2014 12:52 am

It's no good unless you touch it with your finger! :nownow:
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"Imagine an ennobling of what could be" -- the New Age BS Generator site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by nmblum88 » Mon Sep 22, 2014 1:56 am

scrmbldggs wrote:I would first scream. Then tell it I have a headache.

If it wouldn't go away, or behave, it would be invited to volunteer plenty of tissue samples.
Oh, Eggs… now THAT is really funny.
Not only sensible , practical advice but a post that exhibits your enviable powers of observation.

The headache, the potent weapon of human sexual politics!!

You will have taken any possible pleasure out of BEING an alien….

NMB
P.S. Have you, or anyone else ever asked how and why the "headache thing" caught on like wildfire, and spread to every nook and cranny of the world?
In every language?

Could it possibly have some sort of evolutionary use or significance?
A non chemical or mechanical form of population control?
The ultimate power play of the muscularly deprived?
Hilarious AND interesting.


NMB
Skepticism:
" Norma, you poor sad lonely alcoholic. You entire life is devoted to interrupting other people's posts on this forum, regardless of the topic, to tell them what's wrong with them. The irony is, here you are doing it again, with this very post.
Your fanciful card games, movie sojourns and exciting overseas trips, that all take place within the four walls of an aged care retirement home, do not suggest your own children offered you the care, I gave my parents."

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by octopus1 » Mon Sep 22, 2014 2:01 am

nmblum wrote:
scrmbldggs wrote:I would first scream. Then tell it I have a headache.

If it wouldn't go away, or behave, it would be invited to volunteer plenty of tissue samples.
Oh, Eggs… now THAT is really funny.
Not only sensible , practical advice but a post that exhibits your enviable powers of observation.

The headache, the potent weapon of human sexual politics!!

You will have taken any possible pleasure out of BEING an alien….

NMB
P.S. Have you, or anyone else ever asked how and why the "headache thing" caught on like wildfire, and spread to every nook and cranny of the world?
In every language?

Could it possibly have some sort of evolutionary use or significance?
A non chemical or mechanical form of population control?
The ultimate power play of the muscularly deprived?
Hilarious AND interesting.


NMB
Cue Norma forgetting her impoverished Manhattan socialite Philosopher car mechanic magic roots - And suddenly claiming to be an Alien...
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Aztexan » Mon Sep 22, 2014 2:03 am

A woman is in bed. Her husband climbs in with an aspirin in one hand and a glass of water in the other and hands it to her.
She says, "Why are you giving this to me? I don't have a headache."
He says, "Gotcha!"
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by scrmbldggs » Mon Sep 22, 2014 2:10 am

nmblum wrote:
scrmbldggs wrote:I would first scream. Then tell it I have a headache.

If it wouldn't go away, or behave, it would be invited to volunteer plenty of tissue samples.
Oh, Eggs… now THAT is really funny.
Not only sensible , practical advice but a post that exhibits your enviable powers of observation.

The headache, the potent weapon of human sexual politics!!

You will have taken any possible pleasure out of BEING an alien….

NMB
P.S. Have you, or anyone else ever asked how and why the "headache thing" caught on like wildfire, and spread to every nook and cranny of the world?
In every language?

Could it possibly have some sort of evolutionary use or significance?
A non chemical or mechanical form of population control?
The ultimate power play of the muscularly deprived?
Hilarious AND interesting.


NMB
Maybe it's because it's an "invisible" (and often shared) pain and affliction... and, of course, triggers the gentlepersonly response.

But I guess the really funny thing is, nothing cures a headache better than testing a mattress!
.
Lard, save me from your followers.

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by nmblum88 » Mon Sep 22, 2014 2:20 am

Aztexan wrote:A woman is in bed. Her husband climbs in with an aspirin in one hand and a glass of water in the other and hands it to her.
She says, "Why are you giving this to me? I don't have a headache."
He says, "Gotcha!"

LOL….. anything that works that isn't a fist or a gun is good…
But now I can't stop thinking how the so-called alien will deal with the dilemma…..
After saying, "THIS is what I traversed all those universes to find?"

Because it iS funny… which isn't to say it's not damned sad, as well.
In fact it's so dispiriting that it gives me a headache just to think about the sisterhood of the headache.

N…..
Skepticism:
" Norma, you poor sad lonely alcoholic. You entire life is devoted to interrupting other people's posts on this forum, regardless of the topic, to tell them what's wrong with them. The irony is, here you are doing it again, with this very post.
Your fanciful card games, movie sojourns and exciting overseas trips, that all take place within the four walls of an aged care retirement home, do not suggest your own children offered you the care, I gave my parents."

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Major Malfunction » Mon Sep 22, 2014 2:24 am

Big Pharma aspirin adverts.
This being was produced using the same process as other beings, and therefore, may contain traces of nuts.

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by nmblum88 » Mon Sep 22, 2014 2:31 am

scrmbldggs wrote:
nmblum wrote:
scrmbldggs wrote:I would first scream. Then tell it I have a headache.

If it wouldn't go away, or behave, it would be invited to volunteer plenty of tissue samples.
Oh, Eggs… now THAT is really funny.
Not only sensible , practical advice but a post that exhibits your enviable powers of observation.

The headache, the potent weapon of human sexual politics!!

You will have taken any possible pleasure out of BEING an alien….

NMB
P.S. Have you, or anyone else ever asked how and why the "headache thing" caught on like wildfire, and spread to every nook and cranny of the world?
In every language?

Could it possibly have some sort of evolutionary use or significance?
A non chemical or mechanical form of population control?
The ultimate power play of the muscularly deprived?
Hilarious AND interesting.


NMB
Maybe it's because it's an "invisible" (and often shared) pain and affliction... and, of course, triggers the gentlepersonly response.

But I guess the really funny thing is, nothing cures a headache better than testing a mattress!
Of course it's a shared pain and affliction… that's why it's a joke understood everywhere in the world and in every language.
I once had a seat mate on a plane, an American Army Colonel who told me that he had been married five times!!
"That's right, Sister… I've heard 'I've got a headache, in four languages in five marriages… including Vietnamese!! And I didn't even speak or understand Vietnamese! Except for the word HEADACHE. I sure understood that!!"

I think I have to have a huuuuuge bowl of ice-cream just to ward off the sadness of it all.
But one cheery note before I go: we are talking about a headache that is JUST a headache, not the precursor of a cerebral hemorrhage or a brain tumor.
It's self-limiting.
And doesn't keep breakfast from being served.
It goes away until the next time it's needed.

NMB
Skepticism:
" Norma, you poor sad lonely alcoholic. You entire life is devoted to interrupting other people's posts on this forum, regardless of the topic, to tell them what's wrong with them. The irony is, here you are doing it again, with this very post.
Your fanciful card games, movie sojourns and exciting overseas trips, that all take place within the four walls of an aged care retirement home, do not suggest your own children offered you the care, I gave my parents."

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by octopus1 » Mon Sep 22, 2014 2:41 am

nmblum wrote:
scrmbldggs wrote:
nmblum wrote:
scrmbldggs wrote:I would first scream. Then tell it I have a headache.

If it wouldn't go away, or behave, it would be invited to volunteer plenty of tissue samples.
Oh, Eggs… now THAT is really funny.
Not only sensible , practical advice but a post that exhibits your enviable powers of observation.

The headache, the potent weapon of human sexual politics!!

You will have taken any possible pleasure out of BEING an alien….

NMB
P.S. Have you, or anyone else ever asked how and why the "headache thing" caught on like wildfire, and spread to every nook and cranny of the world?
In every language?

Could it possibly have some sort of evolutionary use or significance?
A non chemical or mechanical form of population control?
The ultimate power play of the muscularly deprived?
Hilarious AND interesting.


NMB
Maybe it's because it's an "invisible" (and often shared) pain and affliction... and, of course, triggers the gentlepersonly response.

But I guess the really funny thing is, nothing cures a headache better than testing a mattress!
Of course it's a shared pain and affliction… that's why it's a joke understood everywhere in the world and in every language.
I once had a seat mate on a plane, an American Army Colonel who told me that he had been married five times!!
"That's right, Sister… I've heard 'I've got a headache, in four languages in five marriages… including Vietnamese!! And I didn't even speak or understand Vietnamese! Except for the word HEADACHE. I sure understood that!!"

I think I have to have a huuuuuge bowl of ice-cream just to ward off the sadness of it all.
But one cheery note before I go: we are talking about a headache that is JUST a headache, not the precursor of a cerebral hemorrhage or a brain tumor.
It's self-limiting.
And doesn't keep breakfast from being served.
It goes away until the next time it's needed.

NMB
You are the Queen of "from the sublime to the ridiculous"... That may have been complimentary. I'm not sure yet. Thinking takes an awfully long time, if it's done right.
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Major Malfunction » Mon Sep 22, 2014 2:57 am

I porpoisely don't have a clock in the bedroom so I don't care what time the aliens abduct me.
This being was produced using the same process as other beings, and therefore, may contain traces of nuts.

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by octopus1 » Mon Sep 22, 2014 7:22 am

"Aliens? At midday?? With the sun switched on?!"
"Yeah... traffic... Now drop 'em and spread 'em, let's get this over with here."
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Aztexan » Mon Sep 22, 2014 8:25 am

You'll never probe anyone with that attitude.
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by octopus1 » Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:51 am

Aztexan wrote:You'll never probe anyone with that attitude.
I've bought a cheap rubber alien mask off ebay. Plus some lockpicking tools. I think that's all you need :lol:

"I-AM-ZARGON. I-HAVE-ENTERED-YOUR-HOUSE. REMOVE-CLOTHES..."
"Is this a rape?"
"...If it's what you want. ZARGON-AIMS-TO-PLEASE... Can I drop the whole Zargon thing now?"
"No! You promised to role-play as Zargon!"
"Ugh... ZARGON-WILL-DESTROY-YOU!"
"Are you a real alien from outer space??"
"I-WILL-BE-WHEN-YOU-INACCURATELY-REMEMBER-THIS-TOMORROW..."
"Because it seems to me that you're just a weirdo in a cheap mask..."
"Jeez, now you're the one getting out of character. ZARGON doesn't like it when people don't play along."
"Please just take my purse and go!"
"ZARGON-CARES-NOT-FOR... OK where is it and how much...?"
"Take it all!!"
"Well, no I'll leave you a tenner because you might need it... ZARGON-PLAYS-FAIR!!"

(Hoo-ee that was a "long one" :P)
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by TJrandom » Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:58 am

Erm, shouldn`t it be One Morning between 3 and 4 AM? It would be quite rare for me to still be in bed at 3AM, and even still in the house at 4AM – so I`m afraid that I would miss our friendly traveler.

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Flash » Tue Sep 23, 2014 12:08 am

Alexander941 wrote:
What would you do if, one night, you would wake up, look around and spot one of those hydrocephalic, grey little Aliens?

Would you grab your bed-mounted rifle and fire, would you scream as loud as possible, would you run, or would you try to talk and negotiate your way out of a long and painfull probing?
"A bed mounted riffle"? You know Alexander, most people on this planet don't sleep surrounded by their firepower.

Okay, I understand. It's America. All right, cool, hunky dory, admirable, go on...

But I vuz thinkin', maybe that's the reason the aliens just overfly American houses leaving contrails but never land.
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by OlegTheBatty » Tue Sep 23, 2014 12:20 am

Flash wrote:Alexander941 wrote:
What would you do if, one night, you would wake up, look around and spot one of those hydrocephalic, grey little Aliens?

Would you grab your bed-mounted rifle and fire, would you scream as loud as possible, would you run, or would you try to talk and negotiate your way out of a long and painfull probing?
"A bed mounted riffle"? You know Alexander, most people on this planet don't sleep surrounded by their firepower.

Okay, I understand. It's America. All right, cool, hunky dory, admirable, go on...

But I vuz thinkin', maybe that's the reason the aliens just overfly American houses leaving contrails but never land.
Chemtrails

What evidence does anyone have that aliens can't make UFO's that look like passenger jets at 40k feet?
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by digress » Tue Sep 23, 2014 3:13 am

Alexander941 wrote:What would you do if, one night, you would wake up, look around and spot one of those hydrocephalic, grey little Aliens?
I believe I would be very terrified but I'd have spiderman-like agility if it approached me.
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by octopus1 » Tue Sep 23, 2014 3:57 am

Both 3 and 4am came, and went. No aliens again. I'm beginning to think I'm knee deep in a con here, Alexander...
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by OlegTheBatty » Tue Sep 23, 2014 11:58 am

octopus1 wrote:Both 3 and 4am came, and went. No aliens again. I'm beginning to think I'm knee deep in a con here, Alexander...
Did you place the appropriate Alien pleasure snacks and beverage beside the chimney?
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

There is no statement so absurd that it has not been uttered by some philosopher. - Cicero

.......................Doesn't matter how often I'm proved wrong.................... ~ bobbo the pragmatist

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Ranb » Tue Sep 23, 2014 7:39 pm

Alexander941 wrote:....Would you grab your bed-mounted rifle and fire, would you scream as loud as possible, would you run, or would you try to talk and negotiate your way out of a long and painfull probing?
As they told Homer Simpson; the aliens have probably reached the limits of what probing can teach them. I'll hold on to the rifle and ask them what they need. Are they female aliens?

ETA; One post since 2005, I'll have to stop by more often.
Last edited by Ranb on Tue Sep 23, 2014 8:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by octopus1 » Tue Sep 23, 2014 7:42 pm

OlegTheBatty wrote:
octopus1 wrote:Both 3 and 4am came, and went. No aliens again. I'm beginning to think I'm knee deep in a con here, Alexander...
Did you place the appropriate Alien pleasure snacks and beverage beside the chimney?
Initially I placed a bottle of cheap rum and malt biscuits near where I expected them to enter. But I'm reliably informed by people in "the know" that they don't come in through doors and windows - They just sort of appear. Out of thin air.

Which made the operation all the more difficult.

So I strategically left strong alcohol and cheap tasteless treats just all around randomly. Still no aliens. I feel like I've been snubbed by our 'definitely-real-and-in-no-way-BS' friends from the stars.

I'll try again tomorrow morning with rat-traps, cheese, fish and posters of Gary Busey. Beucase maybe they're attracted to the absurd. In fact, they certainly seem to be... ;)
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Gord » Tue Sep 23, 2014 10:40 pm

Ranb wrote:ETA; One post since 2005, I'll have to stop by more often.
:heh:
Last edited by Gord on Tue Sep 23, 2014 10:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Alexander941 » Tue Sep 23, 2014 10:41 pm

@Flash
Such a thing really exists, look:
http://www.amazon.com/RackEm-Buddy-Home ... B008GQ8RYG

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Flash » Tue Sep 23, 2014 11:08 pm

Oh, thanks Alexander. That's what I need. I sleepwalk and now I'll be able to sleepwalk with a gun. My cats know when I circle the living room at night without looking and run like hell. Now, my wife will do it. ;)
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by OlegTheBatty » Tue Sep 23, 2014 11:09 pm

octopus1 wrote:
OlegTheBatty wrote:
octopus1 wrote:Both 3 and 4am came, and went. No aliens again. I'm beginning to think I'm knee deep in a con here, Alexander...
Did you place the appropriate Alien pleasure snacks and beverage beside the chimney?
Initially I placed a bottle of cheap rum and malt biscuits near where I expected them to enter. But I'm reliably informed by people in "the know" that they don't come in through doors and windows - They just sort of appear. Out of thin air.

Which made the operation all the more difficult.

So I strategically left strong alcohol and cheap tasteless treats just all around randomly. Still no aliens. I feel like I've been snubbed by our 'definitely-real-and-in-no-way-BS' friends from the stars.

I'll try again tomorrow morning with rat-traps, cheese, fish and posters of Gary Busey. Beucase maybe they're attracted to the absurd. In fact, they certainly seem to be... ;)
You might try one of those Margaret Thatcher posters you don't need any more. Just in case they swing that way.
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

There is no statement so absurd that it has not been uttered by some philosopher. - Cicero

.......................Doesn't matter how often I'm proved wrong.................... ~ bobbo the pragmatist

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by octopus1 » Tue Sep 23, 2014 11:28 pm

OlegTheBatty wrote:
octopus1 wrote:
OlegTheBatty wrote:
octopus1 wrote:Both 3 and 4am came, and went. No aliens again. I'm beginning to think I'm knee deep in a con here, Alexander...
Did you place the appropriate Alien pleasure snacks and beverage beside the chimney?
Initially I placed a bottle of cheap rum and malt biscuits near where I expected them to enter. But I'm reliably informed by people in "the know" that they don't come in through doors and windows - They just sort of appear. Out of thin air.

Which made the operation all the more difficult.

So I strategically left strong alcohol and cheap tasteless treats just all around randomly. Still no aliens. I feel like I've been snubbed by our 'definitely-real-and-in-no-way-BS' friends from the stars.

I'll try again tomorrow morning with rat-traps, cheese, fish and posters of Gary Busey. Beucase maybe they're attracted to the absurd. In fact, they certainly seem to be... ;)
You might try one of those Margaret Thatcher posters you don't need any more. Just in case they swing that way.
Anything to get them in. I'll try anything to get them in. I'm told that they're quite common here on Earth. By people who are almost certainly not insane. So why won't they probe me!? Why do they only "visit" people with bad haircuts and mental health problems? That's discrimination. And I had a shower this morning and everything! Stick it up there, you gentle monsters from beyond the moon!
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by scrmbldggs » Wed Sep 24, 2014 6:51 am

Ranb wrote:
Alexander941 wrote:....Would you grab your bed-mounted rifle and fire, would you scream as loud as possible, would you run, or would you try to talk and negotiate your way out of a long and painfull probing?
As they told Homer Simpson; the aliens have probably reached the limits of what probing can teach them. I'll hold on to the rifle and ask them what they need. Are they female aliens?

ETA; One post since 2005, I'll have to stop by more often.
Only those with the headaches. Big ones. ;)
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by TJrandom » Wed Sep 24, 2014 9:48 am

Alexander941 wrote:@Flash
Such a thing really exists, look:
http://www.amazon.com/RackEm-Buddy-Home ... B008GQ8RYG
Holds pistols and flashlight, rifle or baseball bat.
But will it hold my sword? :lol:

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Alexander941 » Wed Sep 24, 2014 5:26 pm

It will possibly break under the weight of your two-handed Flame-sword, but it may be able to hold the Claymore and the Katana... there is no way that it will support the M2 :-)

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by scrmbldggs » Wed Sep 24, 2014 8:26 pm

You guys just reminded me of this. (I probably watched it between 3 and 4 am.) Thanks!
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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Alexander941 » Fri Sep 26, 2014 12:17 am

I wonder if it would be possible to make such a blade with, at least, the lower part, out of osmium.
This should be an interesting weapon, just a bit heavy since it is 3times denser than iron.

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by TJrandom » Fri Sep 26, 2014 10:59 am

Alexander941 wrote:I wonder if it would be possible to make such a blade with, at least, the lower part, out of osmium.
This should be an interesting weapon, just a bit heavy since it is 3times denser than iron.
But then it wouldn`t be traditional – made by a master following the process handed down thru the ages and blessed by the `magic` of the Sun God - so it would have no value.

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Alexander941 » Sat Sep 27, 2014 3:03 am

But it would do a lot of damage, it would possibly be able to cut through Uranium and other stuff.

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Re: One Night between 3 and 4 AM

Post by Major Malfunction » Sat Sep 27, 2014 4:52 am

I had a neutronium sword, but I dropped it.
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