Funny, but not jokes, images or videos.

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Re: Funny, but not jokes, images or videos.

Post by scrmbldggs » Tue Sep 25, 2018 2:28 am

Rather minor but cracked me up... had some issues with icons and googled for help. Found some threads with similar questions and one user said, "...icons looked like white paper {!#%@} on some background, not like just white square."

And then, "Omg, "paper sheet", i'm not english speaking." :lol:
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Re: Funny, but not jokes, images or videos.

Post by Gord » Sat Oct 06, 2018 11:04 am

Lord Jesus Christ cast out of Belchertown library for bad behavior ... ut_of.html
...Lord Jesus Christ, left, stands at the counter of the Clapp Memorial Library with an unnamed library clerk. He said he was banned from the library because of how he dresses, a charge the library denies

Library director Owen Maloney said the library does not care how Jesus Christ dresses, but it does care how he acts inside the facility.

“It was his behavior in the library that was off-putting,” he said. “He was very needy.”

He said Jesus is always asking staff at the desk and other patrons for tissues, pencils or other things.

“Often times he would try to put himself in the personal space of others,” he said.

If someone was at the desk talking to the librarian, Jesus Christ would cut in front of the person and begin asking the librarian questions, Maloney said.

“He was very rude,” Maloney said....

...Asked how many people have been banned in his 21 years as director, Maloney said “Lord Jesus Christ is the first - and I suppose I’m going to burn in hell because of it.”...
Lord Jesus Christ hit by car ... 00512-uwzm
An American woman got more than she bargained for after she reportedly ran down Lord Jesus Christ on a street in the US....

...Police at the scene of the accident confirmed the man's identity as Lord Jesus Christ, a resident of nearby Belchertown....

...Christ was taken to Cooley Dickinson Hospital with minor injuries, including broken teeth, facial swelling, and a badly bruised hip....
Lord Jesus Christ says getting hit by car in Northampton crosswalk was part of God's plan ... 00512-uwzm
...The story was picked up by several dozen of newspapers nationally and internationally, as a well as the major news networks like CNN, ABC, FOX and MSNBC.

“Really? That’s amazing,” said Jesus Christ, who said he was unaware of the attention generated by his accident.

“I think that is very interesting,” he said. “It’s fascinating to me.”

Jesus Christ has no telephone and no access to the Internet at home. To go online, he needs to go to the Belchertown library, but since the accident, he has been too banged up to leave his apartment in the Belchertown Housing Authority.

And though the news of Jesus Christ getting nailed in a crosswalk launched a thousand jokes the world over, he sees nothing funny about it.

The May 4 accident left him with some broken teeth, swelling to his face, a bruised hip and all-around soreness. Plus, the pain medication he is taking makes him sleepy, he said.

He said he does not believe the accident was intentional but Jesus Christ has hired a lawyer anyway....

Jesus Christ!!
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"Imagine an ennobling of what could be" -- the New Age BS Generator site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
Is Trump in jail yet?

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Re: Funny, but not jokes, images or videos.

Post by Tom Palven » Sat Oct 06, 2018 11:51 am

If one can be taught to believe absurdities, one can commit atrocities. --Voltaire