The Corrupted Wish Game

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scrmbldggs
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by scrmbldggs » Tue Apr 09, 2013 1:10 am

fromthehills wrote:
Austin Harper wrote:Granted, you build one and promptly overload it and vaporize yourself.

I wish I could get an extra hour of sleep each night.
Granted. The 25 hour days cause mass destruction across the world, mostly in botched flight schedules.

I wish I could go back in time to kill my grandfather.
Granted. You killed that grandfather. Now you're only half the man you were before.

I wish I had not granted that wish.
.
Lard, save me from your followers.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Austin Harper » Tue Apr 09, 2013 3:48 pm

scrmbldggs wrote:
fromthehills wrote:I wish I could go back in time to kill my grandfather.
Granted. You killed that grandfather. Now you're only half the man you were before.

I wish I had not granted that wish.
Granted, you haven't and from's grandfather is still alive.

I wish you hadn't wished not to grant that wish.
Dum ratio nos ducet, valebimus et multa bene geremus.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by scrmbldggs » Tue Apr 09, 2013 4:29 pm

Austin Harper wrote:
scrmbldggs wrote:
fromthehills wrote:I wish I could go back in time to kill my grandfather.
Granted. You killed that grandfather. Now you're only half the man you were before.

I wish I had not granted that wish.
Granted, you haven't and from's grandfather is still alive.

I wish you hadn't wished not to grant that wish.
Granted. I didn't. And from was caught and arrested when he killed his grandfather. Let off the hook on reasons of insanity, he now sits around home with nothing to do and becomes the worst forum troll this world has ever seen.

I wish for a bank account that refills itself.
.
Lard, save me from your followers.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Gord » Tue Apr 09, 2013 6:40 pm

scrmbldggs wrote:I wish for a bank account that refills itself.
Granted. It fills itself with spam until it bursts, and the world drowns in spam except for one old man and his family who built a boat and filled it with two plates of every other type of food in the world.

I wish I were on that boat, eating that food.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"Imagine an ennobling of what could be" -- the New Age BS Generator site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by OlegTheBatty » Tue Apr 09, 2013 6:49 pm

Granted. The old man is an Inuit, who build his boat on an iceberg, which is just now reaching the Gulf Stream.

I wish all the world's spammers were with Gord right now.
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

There is no statement so absurd that it has not been uttered by some philosopher. - Cicero

.......................Doesn't matter how often I'm proved wrong.................... ~ bobbo the pragmatist

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Gord » Tue Apr 09, 2013 7:24 pm

Granted, they're here on the forum with me, posting away like mad.

I wish I was the weakest link.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"Imagine an ennobling of what could be" -- the New Age BS Generator site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
#ANDAMOVIE
Is Trump in jail yet?

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by fromthehills » Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:16 am

Gord wrote: I wish I was the weakest link.
Granted. You're a link to a resource on Natural News. Just a circle back to a Natural News article.

I wish I had real complaints.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Gord » Wed Apr 10, 2013 6:10 am

Granted. You dummy.

I wish Texas would break off from the mainland, float out to sea, bump into Cuba, and sink. Just for grins and giggles.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"Imagine an ennobling of what could be" -- the New Age BS Generator site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
#ANDAMOVIE
Is Trump in jail yet?

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by fromthehills » Thu Apr 11, 2013 6:49 pm

Gord wrote:Granted. You dummy.

I wish Texas would break off from the mainland, float out to sea, bump into Cuba, and sink. Just for grins and giggles.
Granted. But Canada is going to have to send all their troops to the panhandle.

I wish our elected officials were required to be smart.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Gord » Thu Apr 11, 2013 9:58 pm

Granted. Now no one qualifies, and you live in anarchy.

I wish gravity didn't make these frozen chickens so damn heavy.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"Imagine an ennobling of what could be" -- the New Age BS Generator site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
#ANDAMOVIE
Is Trump in jail yet?

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by scrmbldggs » Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:29 am

Gord wrote:I wish gravity didn't make these frozen chickens so damn heavy.
Granted. Now you'll have to learn skeet shooting.

I wish my days would go by faster.
.
Lard, save me from your followers.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Gord » Fri Apr 12, 2013 2:06 am

Grantedbutnowit'sveryhardtokeepupwithwhateveryoneelseisdoing.

I wish the package I'm expecting would arrive in the mail tomorrow.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"Imagine an ennobling of what could be" -- the New Age BS Generator site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
#ANDAMOVIE
Is Trump in jail yet?

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by scrmbldggs » Fri Apr 12, 2013 2:21 am

Gord wrote:Grantedbutnowit'sveryhardtokeepupwithwhateveryoneelseisdoing.

I wish the package I'm expecting would arrive in the mail tomorrow.
Granted. But now you're the guy in Groundhog Day. When you finally are back to normal, the package is delivered by the Daily Mail and is full of crap.

Iwishitweren'tsohardtokeepupwithwhateveryoneelseisdoing.
.
Lard, save me from your followers.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by scrmbldggs » Wed Jun 26, 2013 4:16 am

I wish someone would grant me my wish. :glare:
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Gord » Wed Jun 26, 2013 4:32 am

Granted. Everyone. Is. Doing. Very. Very. Little.

I wish...stuff.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"Imagine an ennobling of what could be" -- the New Age BS Generator site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
#ANDAMOVIE
Is Trump in jail yet?

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by fromthehills » Wed Jun 26, 2013 5:19 am

Gord wrote:
I wish...stuff.

Granted. The guys with elbow length gloves arrive, and their job is to stuff.

I wish the little, annoying flies would go away.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by scrmbldggs » Wed Jun 26, 2013 5:34 am

fromthehills wrote:
Gord wrote:
I wish...stuff.

Granted. The guys with elbow length gloves arrive, and their job is to stuff.

I wish the little, annoying flies would go away.
Granted. They will go away and are replaced by lots of big annoying flies.

I wish I had a little dog.
.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by nmblum88 » Wed Jun 26, 2013 6:41 am

scrmbldggs wrote:
fromthehills wrote:
Gord wrote:
I wish...stuff.

Granted. The guys with elbow length gloves arrive, and their job is to stuff.

I wish the little, annoying flies would go away.
Granted. They will go away and are replaced by lots of big annoying flies.

I wish I had a little dog.
You do...
Or at least you did.
You stepped on him fatally during a careless moment brought on by...well... carelessness.

I wish I had a wish.... but the dogs have been very good to me.



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Your fanciful card games, movie sojourns and exciting overseas trips, that all take place within the four walls of an aged care retirement home, do not suggest your own children offered you the care, I gave my parents."

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Gord » Wed Jun 26, 2013 11:22 am

nmblum wrote:I wish I had a wish.... but the dogs have been very good to me.
Granted. Your wish has to do with surfing and the number seven. If that makes any sense, then I can change it later.

I wish I wasn't sitting here awake at 6:22 in the morning.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"Imagine an ennobling of what could be" -- the New Age BS Generator site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
#ANDAMOVIE
Is Trump in jail yet?

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Daedalus » Wed Jun 26, 2013 12:15 pm

Gord wrote:
nmblum wrote:I wish I had a wish.... but the dogs have been very good to me.
Granted. Your wish has to do with surfing and the number seven. If that makes any sense, then I can change it later.

I wish I wasn't sitting here awake at 6:22 in the morning.
Granted! It's now 6:23 in the morning.
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Austin Harper » Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:03 pm

I wish Daedalus would follow the rules and make a wish after granting someone else's.
Dum ratio nos ducet, valebimus et multa bene geremus.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Daedalus » Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:40 pm

Austin Harper wrote:I wish Daedalus would follow the rules and make a wish after granting someone else's.
OOPS!!!

Wish granted...

I wish that I had a working phaser.
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by OlegTheBatty » Wed Jun 26, 2013 3:22 pm

Granted. However, you have nothing to charge it with, so the Klingons have no trouble knocking you off.

I wish I had a working charger for my working phaser.
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

There is no statement so absurd that it has not been uttered by some philosopher. - Cicero

.......................Doesn't matter how often I'm proved wrong.................... ~ bobbo the pragmatist

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Austin Harper » Wed Jun 26, 2013 3:56 pm

Granted, but your 230V Norwegian power blows the 110V charger and now your phaser is useless.

I wish it would rain.
Dum ratio nos ducet, valebimus et multa bene geremus.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Daedalus » Wed Jun 26, 2013 3:58 pm

Austin Harper wrote:Granted, but your 230V Norwegian power blows the 110V charger and now your phaser is useless.

I wish it would rain.
Granted, but you didn't count on the particularly acidic nature of this rain, and now you have no skin.

I wish that Yakuza 1&2 HD editions would be released in here in the USA.
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Gord » Thu Jun 27, 2013 4:31 am

Daedalus wrote:I wish that Yakuza 1&2 HD editions would be released in here in the USA.
Granted, but once released into the environment, it quickly takes over the country and puts everyone into FEMA concentration camps.

I wish I had a cup of coffee.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"Imagine an ennobling of what could be" -- the New Age BS Generator site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
#ANDAMOVIE
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by scrmbldggs » Thu Jun 27, 2013 5:35 am

Gord wrote:I wish I had a cup of coffee.
Granted. It's the size of a thimble.

I wish I had a hammer.
.
Lard, save me from your followers.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Gord » Thu Jun 27, 2013 10:12 am

scrmbldggs wrote:I wish I had a hammer.
Granted. It's the size of a cup of coffee.

I wish there was a God.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"Imagine an ennobling of what could be" -- the New Age BS Generator site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
#ANDAMOVIE
Is Trump in jail yet?

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by fromthehills » Thu Jun 27, 2013 11:47 am

Gord wrote: I wish there was a God.

Granted. It's the god of small things, like thimbles of coffee, and pains in the neck, and the {!#%@} you stub your toe on in the middle of the night.

I wish I had my 25yo body back.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Daedalus » Thu Jun 27, 2013 1:19 pm

fromthehills wrote:
Gord wrote: I wish there was a God.

Granted. It's the god of small things, like thimbles of coffee, and pains in the neck, and the {!#%@} you stub your toe on in the middle of the night.

I wish I had my 25yo body back.
Granted, but you're not inhabiting it... it's just laying there lifeless, and frankly it's beginning to smell a bit.

I wish I had some really good lemonade.
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by OlegTheBatty » Thu Jun 27, 2013 3:25 pm

Granted. The 'secret ingredient' is an illegal psychoactive drug. Before you can take a sip, the cops come abustin' in.

I wish my BS detector was perfect.
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

There is no statement so absurd that it has not been uttered by some philosopher. - Cicero

.......................Doesn't matter how often I'm proved wrong.................... ~ bobbo the pragmatist

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Daedalus » Thu Jun 27, 2013 3:38 pm

OlegTheBatty wrote:Granted. The 'secret ingredient' is an illegal psychoactive drug. Before you can take a sip, the cops come abustin' in.

I wish my BS detector was perfect.
Granted... you can now smell BS. Unfortunately you can literally smell all BS, everywhere, and it's disgusting.

I wish I had another hour to sleep today.
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by fromthehills » Thu Jun 27, 2013 3:45 pm

Granted. Unfortunately it was on your commute while driving. They're still not sure if they've found all your parts.

I wish beer was still a breakfast drink.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Austin Harper » Thu Jun 27, 2013 3:53 pm

Wait, who says it's not a breakfast drink? I'm a big fan of witbier and bacon for breakfast.
Dum ratio nos ducet, valebimus et multa bene geremus.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by fromthehills » Thu Jun 27, 2013 3:58 pm

Austin Harper wrote:Wait, who says it's not a breakfast drink? .
My wife.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Austin Harper » Thu Jun 27, 2013 5:27 pm

Phoenix New Times' Chow Bella Blog wrote:The 10 Best Beers for Breakfast
Beer. It's what's for breakfast.

We know what some of you are thinking. Beer for breakfast, Who does that? But the true advocate of craft beer knows there is nothing quite like waking up on a Sunday morning, making scrambled eggs and bacon and cracking open 22 ounces of your favorite brew.

Whether you call it an eye-opener, hair-of-the-dog or a drinking problem, check out our list of beers to grab the night before to compliment your biscuits and gravy in the morning.
Dum ratio nos ducet, valebimus et multa bene geremus.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Daedalus » Thu Jun 27, 2013 5:32 pm

Isn't there some monastic order that actually undergoes a beer fast? That is to say, a week or so consuming only copious quantities of beer?
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by OlegTheBatty » Thu Jun 27, 2013 7:59 pm

fromthehills wrote:Granted. Unfortunately it was on your commute while driving. They're still not sure if they've found all your parts.

I wish beer was still a breakfast drink.
Granted. [corruption deleted because it's against my religion]

I wish I could grant wishes for real.
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

There is no statement so absurd that it has not been uttered by some philosopher. - Cicero

.......................Doesn't matter how often I'm proved wrong.................... ~ bobbo the pragmatist

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by scrmbldggs » Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:16 pm

OlegTheBatty wrote:I wish I could grant wishes for real.
Granted. Everyone else's but not your own.

I wish food wouldn't make me nauseous.
.
Lard, save me from your followers.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Post by nmblum88 » Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:49 pm

scrmbldggs wrote:
OlegTheBatty wrote:I wish I could grant wishes for real.
Granted. Everyone else's but not your own.

I wish food wouldn't make me nauseous.
Sorry to hear that you have such a condition.
So without further ado, your wish is granted... no more nausea, and an appropriate weight gan: you will be fit and incomparably fetching in no time at all.

Which will make others envious AND nauseous...... no small things.
In fact it is the stuff that Mother Teresa was made of.

I wish I could understand, and engage in, wishing for the impossible.
It's so lacking in the thrill of anticipation.



NMB
Skepticism:
" Norma, you poor sad lonely alcoholic. You entire life is devoted to interrupting other people's posts on this forum, regardless of the topic, to tell them what's wrong with them. The irony is, here you are doing it again, with this very post.
Your fanciful card games, movie sojourns and exciting overseas trips, that all take place within the four walls of an aged care retirement home, do not suggest your own children offered you the care, I gave my parents."