How to survive?

cartiii · Post by **cartiii** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 7:48 am

You encounter a man as you travel.

The man says, "If you lie to me I will kill you with my knife. If you tell me the truth, I will kill you with my gun."

Assume that if you try to fight or escape, you will be killed.

What must you say to survive.

Daedalus · Post by **Daedalus** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 1:17 pm

cartiii wrote:You encounter a man as you travel.

The man says, "If you lie to me I will kill you with my knife. If you tell me the truth, I will kill you with my gun."

Assume that if you try to fight or escape, you will be killed.

What must you say to survive.

Nothing.

Austin Harper · Post by **Austin Harper** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 3:26 pm

Or you could say, "You'll kill me with your knife," just to mess with him.

Poodle · Post by **Poodle** » Sat Oct 26, 2013 1:42 am

Austin Harper wrote:Or you could say, "You'll kill me with your knife," just to mess with him.

... at which point the man shoots you and stabs you at precisely the same instant and says "Stick your logical paradox where the sun don't shine".

Really, though, you're correct in accordance with the information given. Unless the man always told lies. But we don't know that. Maybe the old "Who's that behind you?" thing followed by a sharp rap on the head?

Rob Lister · Post by **Rob Lister** » Sat Oct 26, 2013 10:00 am

A karate chop, Maxwell Smart style. 99's got your back.

Gord · Post by **Gord** » Sat Oct 26, 2013 6:09 pm

Tell him something that can neither be confirmed nor denied. Like "I love you".

Major Malfunction · Post by **Major Malfunction** » Sat Oct 26, 2013 6:13 pm

Yo Mumma.

moth1ne · Post by **moth1ne** » Sat Oct 26, 2013 6:51 pm

Ask the first question. You can't lie or tell the truth if your the one asking questions:

Me: "What's there to lie or tell the truth about?" (you haven't lied or told the truth and now the tables are turned).
Man: "Do you want to live?"
Me: "Where? Like here? Or in Sub-saharan Africa?

You could just keep asking questions in response to his questions until he becomes disinterested or lowers his guard, then you maxwell smart chop his ass...

Major Malfunction · Post by **Major Malfunction** » Sat Oct 26, 2013 6:58 pm

Or you could just say hello.

Daedalus · Post by **Daedalus** » Sat Oct 26, 2013 7:57 pm

moth1ne wrote:Ask the first question. You can't lie or tell the truth if your the one asking questions:

Me: "What's there to lie or tell the truth about?" (you haven't lied or told the truth and now the tables are turned).
Man: "Do you want to live?"
Me: "Where? Like here? Or in Sub-saharan Africa?

You could just keep asking questions in response to his questions until he becomes disinterested or lowers his guard, then you maxwell smart chop his ass...

Gord · Post by **Gord** » Sat Oct 26, 2013 11:05 pm

Major Malfunction wrote:Or you could just say hello.

No, that won't work. In Malawi, "hello" means "I just felated you".

Poodle · Post by **Poodle** » Sun Oct 27, 2013 10:57 am

Got it ...

a) Say "The following stuff has been posted in the Skeptic Society Forum" and then follow up by reciting the whole sea serpent thread. At some point the guy will either fall asleep or die laughing.

You're home and dry.

Aztexan · Post by **Aztexan** » Sun Oct 27, 2013 1:33 pm

Or you could just stay home and avoid that maniacal gun-and-knife wielding bastard altogether.

Gord · Post by **Gord** » Sun Oct 27, 2013 2:16 pm

Aztexan wrote:Or you could just stay home and avoid that maniacal gun-and-knife wielding bastard altogether.

Or you could go out and BE that maniacal gun-and-knife wielding bastard!

Proactive! Yeah!

cartiii · Post by **cartiii** » Mon Oct 28, 2013 1:16 pm

Austin Harper wrote:Or you could say, "You'll kill me with your knife," just to mess with him.

Actually, this is correct answer.

Matthew Ellard · Post by **Matthew Ellard** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 11:17 pm

Gord wrote: No, that won't work. In Malawi, "hello" means "I just felated you".

OK. That now explains what happened at the Malawi airport. I was just trying to shake hands and say hello when.......all of a sudden......

Wordbird · Post by **Wordbird** » Tue Sep 11, 2018 6:16 am

cartiii wrote:You encounter a man as you travel.

The man says, "If you lie to me I will kill you with my knife. If you tell me the truth, I will kill you with my gun."

Assume that if you try to fight or escape, you will be killed.

What must you say to survive.

"Your gun can't kill me."

This is a bit more my style because it's boastful and true, assuming the man tells the truth.

I also like this one:

"If you dare kill me with that gun, you will fall victim to every disease on the planet simultaneously and your brain will turn into worms that pour out of your eye sockets, which will then be raped by Christmas Critters for a year and a day while you are mysteriously alive and conscious and in the worst agony imaginable."

Note: If he kills me with the knife, this if-statement is true, meaning he can't actually kill me with the knife because I didn't lie. His only choice is to kill me with the gun and have all that stuff actually happen.

In other words, I will see your paradox and raise you an if, cowboy. You in or out?

This is how you sling logic in the wild west. I'm the fastest gun there is. Watch.

"If you kill me with that gun, you have to shoot yourself dead first."

Gawdzilla Sama · Post by **Gawdzilla Sama** » Tue Sep 11, 2018 10:52 am

Best 8:34 of mindless violent in movie history.

Wordbird · Post by **Wordbird** » Fri Sep 14, 2018 3:37 am

Gawdzilla Sama wrote:Best 8:34 of mindless violent in movie history.

I just watched the final season of Westworld, fell in love with Dolores, and wanted to participate in some sort of crazy version of the Old West where sci-fi collides with WTF and my intellect was considered as amazing as skill with a gun.

So now all logic problems shall be cowboy themed and I'm the fastest damn gun in the West.

Edit: I'm also still a baby chicken.

Gawdzilla Sama · Post by **Gawdzilla Sama** » Fri Sep 14, 2018 8:43 am

You should watch " Cowboy Beebop".

Gord · Post by **Gord** » Fri Sep 14, 2018 10:06 am

Gawdzilla Sama wrote:You should watch " Cowboy Beebop".

Excellent advice.

Wordbird · Post by **Wordbird** » Sun Sep 16, 2018 5:44 am

Gawdzilla Sama wrote:You should watch " Cowboy Beebop".

Have already done so. Amazing universes.

Wolf's Rain is done by the same person and it's equally cool.

Dinner on Ganymede anyone?

Gord · Post by **Gord** » Thu Sep 27, 2018 2:14 pm

Hey-o, Cowboy Bebop! Just found a new (September 25th) video from Wisecrack about Cowboy Bebop, thought I'd share it with y'all!

Major Malfunction · Post by **Major Malfunction** » Thu Sep 27, 2018 3:11 pm

Gord wrote:
Gawdzilla Sama wrote:You should watch " Cowboy Beebop".
Excellent advice.

And this...

Gord · Post by **Gord** » Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:46 pm

I loved The Rifleman! I used to stay up until 6 am just to watch it.

Okay, in hindsight, maybe I should have just woken up early to watch it.

Gawdzilla Sama · Post by **Gawdzilla Sama** » Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:52 pm

Gord wrote:I loved The Rifleman! I used to stay up until 6 am just to watch it.

Okay, in hindsight, maybe I should have just woken up early to watch it.

Came on right before "Branded". Mom had her {!#%@}-kicker reload for the week. Of course we watched "Wagon Train", "The Virginian", "The Big Valley", "Have Nun, Will Travel", all that {!#%@}.

Gord · Post by **Gord** » Fri Sep 28, 2018 1:48 pm

Branded, also a good one. I used to sing the theme song and nobody else ever knew where it was from. School councelors would call me in to their offices and ask me if I was feeling persecuted. I don't know why, it was such a happy song!

All but one man died
There at Bitter Creek
And they say he ran away.

Branded!
Marked with a coward's shame
What do you do when you're branded
Will you fight for your name

He was innocent
Not a charge was true
But the world will never know

Branded!
Scorned as the one who ran
What do you do when you're branded
And you know you're a man

And wherever you go
for the rest of your life
You must prove
You're a man!

Branded!

...hmmm, maybe it just felt happy because of the way I sang it.

Gawdzilla Sama · Post by **Gawdzilla Sama** » Fri Sep 28, 2018 3:33 pm

It takes a "real man" to endure calumny for the higher good.

I know that's true because it said it in this cookie I got with dinner.

Major Malfunction · Post by **Major Malfunction** » Fri Sep 28, 2018 5:41 pm

Gord wrote:I loved The Rifleman! I used to stay up until 6 am just to watch it.

My mother loved it too. She named me for the character.

Gawdzilla Sama · Post by **Gawdzilla Sama** » Fri Sep 28, 2018 6:03 pm

Major Malfunction wrote:
Gord wrote:I loved The Rifleman! I used to stay up until 6 am just to watch it.
My mother loved it too. She named me for the character.

She named you "The"?

Major Malfunction · Post by **Major Malfunction** » Fri Sep 28, 2018 6:22 pm

Yep. Theodore.

Gawdzilla Sama · Post by **Gawdzilla Sama** » Fri Sep 28, 2018 8:16 pm

Major Malfunction wrote:Yep. Theodore.

The Odor, got it.

Major Malfunction · Post by **Major Malfunction** » Fri Sep 28, 2018 8:22 pm

It's got a 'u' in it. Stupid {!#%@} Yanks...

Gawdzilla Sama · Post by **Gawdzilla Sama** » Fri Sep 28, 2018 8:24 pm

Major Malfunction wrote:It's got a 'u' in it. Stupid {!#%@} Yanks...

Oradour Sur Glane?

Major Malfunction · Post by **Major Malfunction** » Fri Sep 28, 2018 8:30 pm

Better than Nathaniel, which is what my father wanted to name me. Glad Mum won that one.

Gawdzilla Sama · Post by **Gawdzilla Sama** » Fri Sep 28, 2018 9:22 pm

Major Malfunction wrote:Better than Nathaniel, which is what my father wanted to name me. Glad Mum won that one.

Mums are like that.

Major Malfunction · Post by **Major Malfunction** » Fri Sep 28, 2018 9:41 pm

Nathaniel is a bit of a dickhead.

Gord · Post by **Gord** » Sat Sep 29, 2018 11:15 am

Gawdzilla Sama wrote:
Major Malfunction wrote:It's got a 'u' in it. Stupid {!#%@} Yanks...
Oradour Sur Glane?

I think he meant "The odure".

...I shouldn't need to include this, but what the heck, just in case there are any Neanderthals* reading my post today: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ordure

*You know who you are!

Gawdzilla Sama · Post by **Gawdzilla Sama** » Sat Sep 29, 2018 11:29 am

Hey! I resemble that remark!

Major Malfunction · Post by **Major Malfunction** » Sat Sep 29, 2018 12:01 pm

eau de toilette

Oh the toilet.