Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

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kennyc
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Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

Postby kennyc » Mon Aug 25, 2014 4:20 pm

The Strange & Curious Tale of the Last True Hermit
For nearly thirty years, a phantom haunted the woods of Central Maine. Unseen and unknown, he lived in secret, creeping into homes in the dead of night and surviving on what he could steal. To the spooked locals, he became a legend—or maybe a myth. They wondered how he could possibly be real. Until one day last year, the hermit came out of the forest

The hermit set out of camp at midnight, carrying his backpack and his bag of break-in tools, and threaded through the forest, rock to root to rock, every step memorized. Not a boot print left behind. It was cold and nearly moonless, a fine night for a raid, so he hiked about an hour to the Pine Tree summer camp, a few dozen cabins spread along the shoreline of North Pond in central Maine. With an expert twist of a screwdriver, he popped open a door of the dining hall and slipped inside, scanning the pantry shelves with his penlight.

Candy! Always good. Ten rolls of Smarties, stuffed in a pocket. Then, into his backpack, a bag of marshmallows, two tubs of ground coffee, some Humpty Dumpty potato chips. Burgers and bacon were in the locked freezer. On a previous raid at Pine Tree, he'd stolen a key to the walk-in, and now he used it to open the stainless-steel door. The key was attached to a plastic four-leaf-clover key chain, with one of the leaves partially broken off. A three-and-a-half-leaf clover.

He could've used a little more luck. Newly installed in the Pine Tree kitchen, hidden behind the ice machine, was a military-grade motion detector. The device remained silent in the kitchen but sounded an alarm in the home of Sergeant Terry Hughes, a game warden who'd become obsessed with catching the thief. Hughes lived a mile away. He raced to the camp in his pickup truck and sprinted to the rear of the dining hall. He peeked in a window.

And there he was. Probably. The person stealing food appeared entirely too clean, his face freshly shaved. He wore eyeglasses and a wool ski hat. Was this really the North Pond Hermit, a man who'd tormented the surrounding community for years—decades—yet the police still hadn't learned his name?
......


http://www.gq.com/news-politics/newsmak ... rue-hermit
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Re: Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

Postby Monster » Mon Aug 25, 2014 5:19 pm

The dirtiest human on Earth is some guy who lives in Iran and he hasn't bathed in decades. I'm not sure which of these two guys could out-hermit the other.
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Re: Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

Postby kennyc » Mon Aug 25, 2014 5:22 pm

Monster wrote:The dirtiest human on Earth is some guy who lives in Iran and he hasn't bathed in decades. I'm not sure which of these two guys could out-hermit the other.


That's part of why I didn't use the word 'hermit' in the subject. This one seemed reasonably 'civilized' even for living outside of society.
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Re: Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

Postby Gawdzilla Sama » Mon Aug 25, 2014 5:30 pm

Recluse.

Unless he's African-American.

Then he's a brown recluse.
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Re: Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

Postby kennyc » Mon Aug 25, 2014 5:40 pm

I considered using social 'denier' but I didn't want to attract trolls.

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

Postby Gawdzilla Sama » Mon Aug 25, 2014 5:45 pm

kennyc wrote:I considered using social 'denier' but I didn't want to attract trolls.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Yeah, we don't want this thread Pea'd on.
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Re: Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

Postby TJrandom » Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:25 am

Monster wrote:The dirtiest human on Earth is some guy who lives in Iran and he hasn't bathed in decades. I'm not sure which of these two guys could out-hermit the other.


A Frenchman who lives in Iran... Whoda thunk it. :roll:

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Re: Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

Postby fromthehills » Wed Aug 27, 2014 11:46 am

Great story, and now he's out trying to fit back in.

I wonder why everyone ( seemingly everyone) thinks that hermits have wisdom to impart. There's a local hermit, not quite to the extreme as this guy, but he lives in a cave. The wisdom he has to impart is: hermits are grumpy. He didn't tell me that; didn't have to.

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Re: Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

Postby Gawdzilla Sama » Wed Aug 27, 2014 12:01 pm

Chachacha wrote:"Oh, thweet mythtery of wife, at waft I've found you!"

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Re: Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

Postby Gord » Wed Aug 27, 2014 5:24 pm

fromthehills wrote:I wonder why everyone ( seemingly everyone) thinks that hermits have wisdom to impart.

It's assumed that people living "close to nature" will see civilization from a different viewpoint, the conveyance of which will impart wisdom upon the civilized listener.

In other news, McDonald's coffee is hot enough to scald your vagina.
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Re: Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

Postby Aztexan » Wed Aug 27, 2014 5:32 pm

Whew. I don't have a vagina so I can spill all the McDonalds coffee I want on my crotch area. Thanks, Gord.
trump is literally a piece of {!#%@}.

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Re: Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

Postby Gord » Wed Aug 27, 2014 5:47 pm

You are very welcome.

Take pics!

Image
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Re: Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

Postby scrmbldggs » Wed Aug 27, 2014 6:44 pm

Why did she ever take that bucket off off him?


(Man, it's contagious on sight. Off off? Is that for real?)
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Lard, save me from your followers.

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Re: Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

Postby Gord » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:10 pm

Aztexan wrote:Whew. I don't have a vagina so I can spill all the McDonalds coffee I want on my crotch area. Thanks, Gord.

Does anyone else watch the Adam Ruins Everything videos on youtube?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9DXSCpcz9E
This video has some parts which dumb stuff down in the direction they're going rather than remaining impartial, but it's still a bit better than awful. (ooh what an endorsement)
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Re: Social Dropout lived in woods for 30 years

Postby scrmbldggs » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:44 pm

:hmm: Kenny trying it out now too? :-P
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