Worst movies you ever saw

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Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Jeffk 1970 » Sun Jul 03, 2016 10:41 pm

I'm opening this up because we got on a tangent on another thread.

The worst movies I ever saw:

1) Eyes Wide Shut-Stanley Kubrick's final movie, it featured Tom Cruise wandering around rather pointlessly for 2 1/2 hours. It featured lots of gratuitous nudity and not a lot else.
2) The Ninth Gate-Ditto for Johnny Depp, only add on a rather silly satanist plot.
3) Titanic-A James Cameron vehicle, it's the only Academy Award winning movie that I know that only one actor was nominated for an award. I only put up with this because a girl I liked at the time wanted to see it. We didn't even date after this, meaning I wasted both money and time on a movie I didn't want to see.
4) Manos: The Hands of Fate-It's the only movie I saw on Mystery Science Theater so bad it rendered the guys speechless.
5) Star Wars: Attack of the Clones-The worst of George Lucas' prequels.
6) Alien 3-A vast disappointment compared to the first two movies, various treatments I've seen on-line make me mourn what might have been.
7) Godfather III-See above. I've never seen anything on how this movie evolved, I think it may have come 10 years too late.
8) Batman and Robbin-The movie that almost killed a franchise.
9) The Excorcist: Heretic-The sequel to the fantastic The Excorcist, it was so bad I shut it off about 1/2 way through.
10) The Mannequin-So bad I walked out on it, something I''d never done before and haven't done since.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Sun Jul 03, 2016 11:00 pm

Yeah....I saw that thread go off on tangent. Few people don't like Deer Hunter. I wonder if the distinction is kept between a good movie you don't like for specific reasons (eg: like subject matter) vs bad movies because of specific reasons (confused story, gaps, bad acting, lens flares, motion sickness etc)

I think I liked Deer Hunter until the back home Russian Roulette story-line. But that is just because I disagree with that characters choice to so engage. Hey!==You made it out alive.....time to enjoy a beer and the beach.

To your list...I agree with Eyes Wide Shut--worst movie in Kubricks oeuvre.
2. Ninth Gate...good flick only because within the Satanist oeuvre. The are all silly...this one kept its head above water and Depp was still acting rather than pandering.
3. Titanic...agree. A story that stayed a story just told for too long. Motivation of whats her name to get painted nude not "fleshed out."
4. Not seen
5. If seen...not remembered. All of Star Wars a bit lame. Cowboys in Space.
6. Alien 3. Love all the Alien flicks.
7. Godfather...I like them all...with No 3 part of the package
8. If seen, forgotten
9. Heretic===that was bad on purpose from my memory of watching it
10. Mannequin......the reason I posted: One of my favorite...revealing perhaps a deeper fetish on my part.

To be on the list, I think the reputation of the movie should be "good" with top director, budget, and actors. Eyes Wide Shut the perfect example. The critique should be expressed as you did: plodding.

Bad movies fall from my memory as too many are. Good movies....more a rare pleasure.... mostly escapist stuff.
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Jeffk 1970 » Sun Jul 03, 2016 11:18 pm

bobbo_the_Pragmatist wrote:Yeah....I saw that thread go off on tangent. Few people don't like Deer Hunter. I wonder if the distinction is kept between a good movie you don't like for specific reasons (eg: like subject matter) vs bad movies because of specific reasons (confused story, gaps, bad acting, lens flares, motion sickness etc)

I think I liked Deer Hunter until the back home Russian Roulette story-line. But that is just because I disagree with that characters choice to so engage. Hey!==You made it out alive.....time to enjoy a beer and the beach.

To your list...I agree with Eyes Wide Shut--worst movie in Kubricks oeuvre.
2. Ninth Gate...good flick only because within the Satanist oeuvre. The are all silly...this one kept its head above water and Depp was still acting rather than pandering.
3. Titanic...agree. A story that stayed a story just told for too long. Motivation of whats her name to get painted nude not "fleshed out."
4. Not seen
5. If seen...not remembered. All of Star Wars a bit lame. Cowboys in Space.
6. Alien 3. Love all the Alien flicks.
7. Godfather...I like them all...with No 3 part of the package
8. If seen, forgotten
9. Heretic===that was bad on purpose from my memory of watching it
10. Mannequin......the reason I posted: One of my favorite...revealing perhaps a deeper fetish on my part.

To be on the list, I think the reputation of the movie should be "good" with top director, budget, and actors. Eyes Wide Shut the perfect example. The critique should be expressed as you did: plodding.

Bad movies fall from my memory as too many are. Good movies....more a rare pleasure.... mostly escapist stuff.


The issue I had with the Deer Hunter is the editing seemed very choppy to me, I had problems following it. Oddly, I felt the Russian Roulette part the best part of the movie.

I still like the original Stars Wars Trilogy, though perhaps that has more to do with nostalgia. I took my kids to see "The Force Awakens," I thought it was good and my kids liked it.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Sun Jul 03, 2016 11:31 pm

Thanks Jeff....I could go both ways on the RR. To me...it fails as "it never happened....never could happen." I see the notion of such "for profit RR" in several movies but I don't believe there has ever been a documented case of it. A case of fiction has an obligation to be truer than reality. It works, if you take it as a metaphor for people making horribly destructive life decisions because of PTSD.

It all depends on how many beers I've had. Kiddies will rot your mind every time.
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Jeffk 1970 » Sun Jul 03, 2016 11:44 pm

bobbo_the_Pragmatist wrote:Thanks Jeff....I could go both ways on the RR. To me...it fails as "it never happened....never could happen." I see the notion of such "for profit RR" in several movies but I don't believe there has ever been a documented case of it. A case of fiction has an obligation to be truer than reality. It works, if you take it as a metaphor for people making horribly destructive life decisions because of PTSD.

It all depends on how many beers I've had. Kiddies will rot your mind every time.


I can't put the Deer Hunter on this list, I just can't remember it well enough. Like you I can't imagine a scenario where any captor would allow a loaded gun in the hands of a prisoner.

I like Johnny Depp as an actor, I just didn't like the Ninth Gate.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Sun Jul 03, 2016 11:59 pm

Re the RR---I thought that was "stupid" but believable as the gun had only one bullet and lots of guards around. Use your pistol that may not even work and I would think extreme torture would result. A quick death to be bargained for.

No...........the unbelievable RR was after Walkin got home and he played RR voluntarily in the for-profit underground sports arena. Now...I could imagine that people have killed themselves in a contest for money....just not as a repeating enterprise as if it was bare knuckle fighting....which I also have a hard time believing (OH!)
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Monster » Mon Jul 04, 2016 12:16 am

I've listed a bunch of incredibly crappy movies in JO 753's movie thread.

One of the horrible movies that I've seen, which isn't in that thread, is the Celestine Prophecy.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0398842/
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Matthew Ellard » Mon Jul 04, 2016 1:00 am

I'm not going to list my worst films.

I simply watch every movie I can, simply to understand what went right, and what went wrong. I am very interested in "absolute flops" when the films looked like perfect box-office winners on paper.

However, the world's best directors watch the world's worst films and they can see "elements" that they can steal and turn into a good film. Alien was simply a well made 1950's "monster on the loose" film.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oeiaED_0WE
I like this terrible movie because the invading aliens aren't intelligent, but rather just growing rocks. I imagine one day a big budget block buster will be made and everyone will say the director was so "ahead of his time" for coming up with the concept. :D

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Mon Jul 04, 2016 1:36 am

We could go with "Worst Film Memes"---I'm thinking of the current crop of "Blockbusters" based on Comic Book Super Heros or Magic. worse than car crash based films. But its the kiddies that will make these popular and therefore made: repeat ticket sales, because once........10 times is not enough.
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Lausten » Mon Jul 04, 2016 2:34 am

Eat, pray, love. It didn't even follow the book which was, also horrible.
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Matthew Ellard » Mon Jul 04, 2016 4:57 am

Everyone loved "Life is Beautiful" right?

Who could not be impressed with the sad story of a man, pretending to a young boy, that all the horrible things going on in a concentration camp, was just a fun game?
Life is Beautiful.jpg


Soooooo......... Feel sorry for Jerry Lewis, who made the same movie, then called "The Day the Clown Cried". It is hard to work out what really happened, but it appears that Jerry Lewis destroyed all prints after completion to protect his own career as the movie was simply that awful.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_the_Clown_Cried
jerry-lewis-clown-cried-2.jpg
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Jeffk 1970 » Mon Jul 04, 2016 5:11 am

Matthew Ellard wrote:Everyone loved "Life is Beautiful" right?

Who could not be impressed with the sad story of a man, pretending to a young boy, that all the horrible things going on in a concentration camp, was just a fun game?
Life is Beautiful.jpg

Soooooo......... Feel sorry for Jerry Lewis, who made the same movie, then called "The Day the Clown Cried". It is hard to work out what really happened, but it appears that Jerry Lewis destroyed all prints after completion to protect his own career as the movie was simply that awful.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_the_Clown_Cried
jerry-lewis-clown-cried-2.jpg


I've never seen it.
To be honest, while I love to read history when I watch movies I go for pure escapism.
I actually read about "The Day the Clown Cried" in the Golden Turkey Awards by Michael Medved. It showed up in a chapter called "The Worst Movie You Never Saw." It was so bad you are right, even though it lost money to do so everyone involved agreed it was better no one ever saw it.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Gord » Tue Jul 05, 2016 3:52 am

The only movie I ever walked out on was some craptastic piece of nonsense about the end of the world. Since I'm pretty sure it was narrated by Orson Welles, and since it falls at around the right point in time, it was probably The Man Who Saw Tomorrow (1981), although I don't think that was the title of it here in Canada.
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby ElectricMonk » Tue Jul 05, 2016 4:30 am

World War Z with Brad Pitt.
Seriously, I've never seen such awesome book-material butchered so mercilessly to make a few bucks on a movie.
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Spoiler:
1. Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.
2. Anything that's invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.
3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Jeffk 1970 » Tue Jul 05, 2016 4:32 am

ElectricMonk wrote:World War Z with Brad Pitt.
Seriously, I've never seen such awesome book-material butchered so mercilessly to make a few bucks on a movie.



I actually liked it. I thought they did the best they could translating the source material.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby ElectricMonk » Tue Jul 05, 2016 5:28 am

Jeffk 1970 wrote:
ElectricMonk wrote:World War Z with Brad Pitt.
Seriously, I've never seen such awesome book-material butchered so mercilessly to make a few bucks on a movie.



I actually liked it. I thought they did the best they could translating the source material.


It has nothing to do with the source material except for the title.
I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies:
Spoiler:
1. Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.
2. Anything that's invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.
3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.
- Douglas Adams

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Jeffk 1970 » Tue Jul 05, 2016 5:47 am

ElectricMonk wrote:
Jeffk 1970 wrote:
ElectricMonk wrote:World War Z with Brad Pitt.
Seriously, I've never seen such awesome book-material butchered so mercilessly to make a few bucks on a movie.



I actually liked it. I thought they did the best they could translating the source material.


It has nothing to do with the source material except for the title.


I read the book once, a long time ago. The movie is a fresher memory.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby ElectricMonk » Tue Jul 05, 2016 8:13 am

Jeffk 1970 wrote:
ElectricMonk wrote:
Jeffk 1970 wrote:
ElectricMonk wrote:World War Z with Brad Pitt.
Seriously, I've never seen such awesome book-material butchered so mercilessly to make a few bucks on a movie.



I actually liked it. I thought they did the best they could translating the source material.


It has nothing to do with the source material except for the title.


I read the book once, a long time ago. The movie is a fresher memory.



there is a beautiful multicast audiobook version that really brings out the interview-style of the original - I highly recommend it.
I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies:
Spoiler:
1. Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.
2. Anything that's invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.
3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.
- Douglas Adams

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Jeffk 1970 » Tue Jul 05, 2016 3:38 pm

ElectricMonk wrote:
Jeffk 1970 wrote:
ElectricMonk wrote:
Jeffk 1970 wrote:
ElectricMonk wrote:World War Z with Brad Pitt.
Seriously, I've never seen such awesome book-material butchered so mercilessly to make a few bucks on a movie.



I actually liked it. I thought they did the best they could translating the source material.


It has nothing to do with the source material except for the title.


I read the book once, a long time ago. The movie is a fresher memory.



there is a beautiful multicast audiobook version that really brings out the interview-style of the original - I highly recommend it.


I saw a description of the cast for the audio book, thanks for suggestion. I'll see if I can get copy, thank you.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Jeffk 1970 » Tue Jul 05, 2016 8:10 pm

I thought I'd toss this in:

"The Golden Turkey Awards" by Michael Medved puts the Edward Wood movie "Plan Nine from Outer Space" as the worst movie ever made.
I saw the movie about 20 years ago on VHS. To me, it didn't seem any worse than any other low budget monster/scifi movie made in the 50's and 60's. What stood out was the very campy dialogue and obvious mistakes not edited out.
I've seen two Ed Wood movies, Plan Nine and Bride of the Monster. Both seemed equal in my eyes. In some ways both seemed "so bad they were good."
I've seen worse. I listed "Manos" above, primarily because it was bad AND boring.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Monster » Tue Jul 05, 2016 8:38 pm

Ed Wood's movies aren't the worst ever made. Not even close. Watch Coleman Francis's movies. Then, you will know what is the meaning of "worst movie ever made".
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Jeff_36 » Tue Aug 02, 2016 2:19 am

"Showgirls" and it's not even close. For a distant second: Some chick dragged me to see Zoolander 2 on Netflix a month ago and It was legitimately depressingly bad. I was pretty depressed for a while afterwords, it was that awful.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Jeffk 1970 » Tue Aug 02, 2016 4:17 am

Jeff_36 wrote:"Showgirls" and it's not even close. For a distant second: Some chick dragged me to see Zoolander 2 on Netflix a month ago and It was legitimately depressingly bad. I was pretty depressed for a while afterwords, it was that awful.


I've never see Zoolander 1 or 2.

Showgirls is pretty bad.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby BaaBaa » Sun Oct 09, 2016 3:15 am

When "Showgirls" came out, my brother told me "You'll get tired of seeing [ breasts] ."

I pooh-poohed this hypothesis and was proven wrong and with some alacrity, I might add.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Jeffk 1970 » Sun Oct 09, 2016 3:32 am

BaaBaa wrote:When "Showgirls" came out, my brother told me "You'll get tired of seeing [ breasts] ."

I pooh-poohed this hypothesis and was proven wrong and with some alacrity, I might add.


I had a film professor in school who loved foreign movies. He made us watch something that contained two naked women alone in a room.

Now, being a red blooded young man in my early 20's you'd think I'd be into it....but, all they did was talk. One of them played a cello the entire time.

After about 20 minutes I started losing interest. At 30 minutes I started to drift off (this was a 9:00am class). I was grateful when the scene ended.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby scrmbldggs » Sun Oct 09, 2016 6:48 am

I bet before puritanism took hold, breasts were just as interesting as a set of ears...
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Jeffk 1970 » Sun Oct 09, 2016 6:57 am

True.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Sun Oct 09, 2016 10:04 am

Bad Movies....usually about movies that are supposed to be good, but aren't? I usually watch movies all the way through...I mean, someone spent the money, someone had a vision...it might get better? But I stopped watching:

Steve Jobs.

Great actor, good subject--but the film was edited to be so choppy and disjointed the motivation of Jobs was missing. OK--I get he was a tormented {!#%@}. Only so much of either is worth watching.
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby ElectricMonk » Sun Oct 09, 2016 10:15 am

Snowpiercer

Super-boring, predictable, one-dimensional wannabe moral waste of money and actor's time.
I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies:
Spoiler:
1. Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.
2. Anything that's invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.
3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.
- Douglas Adams

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby BaaBaa » Sun Oct 09, 2016 12:58 pm

The last candidate for WME that I saw was "The Conjuring 2"; typical "based on a true story" poltergeist petunia fodder. It was.....people, it was bad.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Sun Oct 09, 2016 6:23 pm

Snowpiercer........indeed. I turned that one off as well. Who was thinking what?????
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby nmblum88 » Fri Oct 21, 2016 1:39 am

I am not making this up: "The Accountant.." starring, oddly, Ben Affleck.... open now in a movie theater near you.

A film about family dysfunction at a what could be labeled as well, "overwrought" and that might as well have been about Zombies.

Okay, so possibly NOT the very worst.... we did leave before what promised to be a silly ending... but certainly worth warning others to avoid.
Can you believe a film... yes a Hollywood, big ticket item film... about a pathetic boy-child, emotionally battered by a more than a little deranged father who happens to be a MILITARY PSYCHOLOGIST?
No kidding.
The bizarre martinet of a Daddy, disappointed that the son is a failure at sports, lacks academic achievement, and is not physically well developed, manages, by various examples of parental cruelty to turn the kid into an insecure, sullen, and finally ominous, adult.
But while his father had had grandiose ambitions for him, it was obvious that the son's lack of imagination and his tedious talent for numbers could be turned into some manner of employment.
And voila!! A bookkeeper.... although with the enhanced title of "ACCOUNTANT."
And there you have it!! "The Accountant..."
Dull as dishwater, and really oppressive, despite having a stellar cast and a shiny and competent ambiance.... Ben Affleck all 6 and 1/2 feet of him, playing a "hero" who really should have been played by... well, lets just say someone less prepossessing.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Bart Stewart » Sun Oct 23, 2016 2:11 am

Worst movies? That's a big subject. But one popped into my mind, because of how it hits on a certain pet peeve of mine -- unrealistic fight scenes!

The movie was Hollow Man, with Kevin Bacon. This was a standard Invisible Man movie, but with CGI special effects. Kevin Bacon is turned invisible and it drives him mad.

The movie ends with a fight scene, which seems to last about three hours, in which invisible, naked, Kevin Bacon is subjected to the following: crowbar battering, fire-bomb blast, electrocution, flame-thrower flames, and a shotgun blast.

Through it all he keeps fighting, even though he was never established as being anything super-human, apart from merely invisible. In the end he falls down an elevator shaft about two hundred feet into an up-rushing mushroom cloud of flames. Probably there was a sequel where the fight scene continued.

Another movie that ends with a crazily unrealistic fight scene was the remake of the Wolfman, with Benecio Del Toro.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby JO 753 » Sun Oct 23, 2016 9:20 am

Jeffk 1970 wrote:2) The Ninth Gate
3) Titanic


How can you not like them? They are great GREAT!

I lost count how many timez I'v watched 9th Gate.
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby JO 753 » Sun Oct 23, 2016 9:24 am

bobbo_the_Pragmatist wrote:worse than car crash based films.


Hal Needham had the idea that if 1 car crash iz good, 100 coud be your entire movie. Wasted around 500 carz in 3 or 4 turkeyz in the 80z.
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby JO 753 » Sun Oct 23, 2016 9:32 am

BaaBaa wrote:When "Showgirls" came out, my brother told me "You'll get tired of seeing [ breasts] ."

I pooh-poohed this hypothesis and was proven wrong and with some alacrity, I might add.


I had a similar experiens.

Being a fan uv big boobz, I went to a Russ Meyer film marathon at a theater (pre-DVD dayz). They were horrible. I fell asleep sumtime during the 2nd 'film' and woke up during the last. I dont know how many there were.
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Flash » Sun Oct 23, 2016 10:09 pm

JO 753 wrote:
I lost count how many timez I'v watched 9th Gate.

Nine times? ;)

BTW, nothing beats The Blues Brothers car chase scenes through the Christmas decorated mall. :mrgreen:
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby JO 753 » Sun Oct 23, 2016 10:19 pm

That wuz good, but there are quite a few chase seenz that are better. Maybe you havent seen The Driver Best car action movie ever.
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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby Jeffk 1970 » Sun Oct 23, 2016 10:30 pm

JO 753 wrote:That wuz good, but there are quite a few chase seenz that are better. Maybe you havent seen The Driver Best car action movie ever.


The chase scene in "Ronin" is excellent.

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Re: Worst movies you ever saw

Postby JO 753 » Mon Oct 24, 2016 4:12 am

Maybe the worst movie I ever saw wuz Akira. Lots uv peeps think its a great classic. I dont smoke pot, do shroomz, or drink alkahol.

Its about 10 owrz uv meandering incomplete haf ideaz that assume the viewerz are immortal, so are free to waste their time on anything. (IMDB sez its 2 owrz 4 minits. I think they only saw a commercial for it)

I did see parts uv Dune, but it wuz so bad that after 10 minits I started hitting the FF button and playing a minit or 2 to see if it continued to stink az bad. I dont count that az seeing the movie.
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