Crash Vidz

Laugh it up...
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Mon May 12, 2014 3:17 am

Thats you!

Are the Ladaz the most common car there? They are in alot uv the krashez.
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby Matthew Ellard » Mon May 12, 2014 3:37 am

JO 753 wrote:Are the Ladaz the most common car there? They are in alot uv the krashez.
I think so. I drove a friend's car to outside Moscow. He was too busy talking and eating to drive. Amanda gave directions from the back seat, which was odd as she couldn't read Russian and the Russian was too busy talking to notice where we were.

Matthew; That sign said "Orsha"
Friend : No it didn't. It said 'Orsha"
Matthew : That's what I said.
Friend : You said "Orsha" not "Orsha". We should stop and eat at "Orsha"
Matthew : "Do you know where to stop and eat in "Orsha"
Friend : "Where?"

Next week I'll tell you the exciting story of me trying to buy a cardboard box at a Russian post office. That took ten elderly ladies, none of whom could speak English, to translate for me. I ended up going to FedEx.

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Sun Jun 08, 2014 4:28 pm

MoMU! BLEoT! I saw at least 1 standard American stop sine in this wun, so I gess they got the same idea I did. Notice the guy who blowz a hed gasket and desidez to stop in the middle uv the expressway in order to hav sumwun total the car so he duznt hav to deal with it.
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby Matthew Ellard » Mon Jun 09, 2014 3:16 am

JO 753 wrote:MoMU! BLEoT! I saw at least 1 standard American stop sine in this wun, so I gess they got the same idea I did. Notice the guy who blowz a hed gasket and desidez to stop in the middle uv the expressway in order to hav sumwun total the car so he duznt hav to deal with it.


I liked the train that came from "nowhere" and the cat crossing the road at the pedestrian crossing. There were a lot of ice skids in this video.

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Mon Jun 09, 2014 3:23 am

There seem to be sum rite hand drive carz there. Wy iz that or am I mistaken?
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby Matthew Ellard » Tue Jun 10, 2014 1:57 am

JO 753 wrote:There seem to be sum rite hand drive carz there. Wy iz that or am I mistaken?
It might be some very lost English tourists thinking they are in Wales.

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Tue Jun 10, 2014 3:29 am

:lol:
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby Matthew Ellard » Tue Jun 10, 2014 5:16 am

JO 753 wrote::lol:


Because Australia is an English colony we drive the same way as the English. This scares me to death. If there are no cars on the road and if you drive around a sharp corner quickly, there is a tendency to drive on the wrong side of the road when you come out of the bend.

Frankly, I don't like driving. Normally Amanda does all the driving and I sit in the passenger seat in total silence whilst the car is moving.

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Tue Jun 10, 2014 5:41 am

I wuz a demon on weelz in my yunger dayz. I wuz born with a led foot, grew up watching Speed Raser, drove like you wuod see sumwun driving in a video game, then became a driver for an emerjensy delivery servis wich gave a an excuse to drive fast. If I had passenjerz, it wuz a failure if I didnt make them scream. Traffic lites, stop sinez, linez painted on the street etc were for mokes, not me.

But, sins I moved out uv the city 20 yirz ago, therez not much motivation or opportunity to do much real driving. My main objectiv theze dayz (aside frum avoiding aksidents) iz to not get any tickets. Wenevr I want to do any driving for fun I fire up the Simpsons Hit & Run.

A big part uv the fun in theze vidz for me iz seeing the mistakes and wayz to avoid getting hit that they usually miss. Its like they hav turtle brainz!
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Mon Jun 16, 2014 4:45 am

Vodka Video list (I hope!)

Hard to find stuf sumtimez kuz you clik sumthing and everything chanjez. Even the back button duznt get you back sumtimez. Scatterbrainz!

Sumthing I just notist a few daze ago - not seeing any speed limit sinez. wuzup widat?
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Wed Jun 18, 2014 3:43 am

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Wed Jun 18, 2014 4:36 am

I get it!

The legal blood alkahol limit in Russia iz .08 just like here in America, but in Russia thats the lower limit!
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Sat Jun 21, 2014 6:21 am

Befor you get the idea that this looks like fun & maybe you will giv it a try. The victimz

Dont look if you get upset by real life gore. There are interviewz with victimz and (I assume, since its in Russian) drunk perps.
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Sat Jun 28, 2014 8:38 am

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Sat Jun 28, 2014 9:50 am

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Fri Jul 04, 2014 6:24 pm

Tractorz. Wy are tractorz inherently funny? Sumthing about farm hik enjineering I think.
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby Matthew Ellard » Sat Jul 05, 2014 1:23 am

JO 753 wrote:Tractorz. Wy are tractorz inherently funny? Sumthing about farm hik enjineering I think.


That was fun. My understanding is that tractors are incredibly dangerous. I'm from the city and once chatted to a real farmer. He explained how he needed a variety of different tractors as each had a specific range of uses. I assume that people hurt themselves when they use tractors in other ways than intended.

The Germans during the 39-45 war had enormous problems with Russian mud. It is interesting to look at all their solutions, as these vehicles types no longer exist.
Radschlepper Ost.jpg
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Sat Jul 05, 2014 3:00 am

Now I realize I hav been deprived my whole life. How hav I manajd to survive at all without a radschlepper?
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby Matthew Ellard » Sat Jul 05, 2014 4:34 am

JO 753 wrote:Now I realize I hav been deprived my whole life. How hav I manajd to survive at all without a radschlepper?
What do you mean? It's a Porsche.

Porsche didn't get to sell many sports cars during the 39-45 war. They made tanks and military vehicles instead. The number given to a type of model is its Ausführung (leading rung up the ladder of "types") It's special purpose number Sd.Kfz is its type.

Here is a photo of the Porsche Type 205.
Porsche 205.jpg


Here is a photo of the Porsche Type 422

Porrsche 422.jpg
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Sat Jul 05, 2014 8:47 am

So if they make a baby tricycle, it'll just get a number?

I wuz loosly applying English naming lojik to the name in the pik: Skoda(manufacturer) Radschlepper(spesifik type uv Ost) Ost(tractor). Then I figured that Skoda wuz a company that either owned or wuz owned by Porche during the war.
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Sat Jul 05, 2014 1:16 pm

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Sat Jul 05, 2014 1:42 pm

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Sat Jul 05, 2014 6:03 pm

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Mon Jul 07, 2014 7:02 pm

Car Crashes Time #14

You can not help but laff at the idiot motorcyclists in this.

The Car Crashes Time collection iz even better than Vodka Video. I dont feel safe in my car anymore. I need an actual tank, or at least an APC.
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby Matthew Ellard » Tue Jul 08, 2014 2:19 am

JO 753 wrote:. I dont feel safe in my car anymore. I need an actual tank, or at least an APC.


It seems to me that the majority of all those crashes in all those videos were due to speeding. It also seems that lots of people don't wear safety belts, which is just insane.

I am amazed how many motorcyclists are flung huge distances and just get up and walk back to their bikes, however I did see the videos where they are obviously very hurt. I would never ride a motorcycle.

The other thing I wonder about, in Russia, is the difference between the quality of cars. The modern German vehicles have crumple zones and are well manufactured. The old Ladas and GAZs seem to simply disintegrate. I wonder if that is a unique thing for Russia. ( probably not).

These are really addictive videos but the head on collisions are starting to get a bit too much.

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby Matthew Ellard » Tue Jul 08, 2014 2:56 am

It does seem that after a Russian accident that most people stop and render assistance. However there were some Japanese videos and everyone just stands there looking and not doing anything.

I see that the Russian Duma passed a new law in 2013 and now Russia is introducing random breathalysers, for alcohol, which is a good thing. I've lost my licence once, for blowing .07, for six months, which was absolutely fair.

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Tue Jul 08, 2014 7:08 am

Maybe I wuz rite with my joke above; you were too low!

Wut suprizez me iz how often the carz & trucks turn over. I had the impression that it wuz not very common kuz way back I saw a special about the show CHIPS and they had to make quite an effort to get the carz to flip.

Most uv theze cut out after the crash iz over. We arent seeing the broken bodyz & blood. Many are obviously fatal. Even wen they show the motorcycle ijits getting up after spinning thru the air, they will certainly hav sum serious pain for a wile.

I also wont ride a motorcycle.
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Tue Jul 08, 2014 8:20 am

#18 The guy crashez hiz shopping cart! :lol:
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Tue Jul 08, 2014 8:56 am

A murderer crashed hiz car in BELOIT! Wisconsen.
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Tue Jul 08, 2014 5:27 pm

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby Monster » Tue Jul 08, 2014 8:07 pm

Why are you so in love with cars crashing?
Listening twice as much as you speak is a sign of wisdom.

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Tue Jul 08, 2014 9:22 pm

I suppoze its the same reazon most peepl are. At least most Americanz. Violence, mayhem, conflict, destruction...alwayz popular.

I think it goez way back before civilization, even befor the human race. Its in our jeenz, man!
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby Matthew Ellard » Wed Jul 09, 2014 2:14 am

Monster wrote:Why are you so in love with cars crashing?


Anxiety. It could be me in those crashes. I keep thinking "What would I do in those split seconds?" Plus, I learning some fantastic Russian swear words.

Yблюдок = Bastard
Cука = Bitch
Arrrggghhh! (phonetic)= Arrrggghhh!

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Wed Jul 09, 2014 8:11 am

Matthew Ellard wrote:Arrrggghhh! (phonetic)= Arrrggghhh!


Just tryin to get me riled up, rite?
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby Matthew Ellard » Thu Jul 10, 2014 3:07 am

I have mistranslated a word.

блядь means more than "whore". I got "whore" from my rather conservative dictionary. It actually means "promiscuous person ( of either sex)" and is probably closer to the English expression "You f**ker".

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Thu Jul 10, 2014 8:08 am

Usually I find a 'speak' butn on tranzlation pajez. Not seeing it for this word.

Wait! I found 1 and it sounded like BLIT, but it wuz a very crude text to speech program.
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby Matthew Ellard » Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:01 am

JO 753 wrote:Usually I find a 'speak' butn on tranzlation pajez. Not seeing it for this word.
Every Sunday night I go out to dinner with the Russians. I simply ask them. I never get a simple answer.

Keep your ears open for "sooka" or сука ( meaning "bitch"). I hear this swear word almost as much as "bljad" or блядь ( meaning "....,you f**ker)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnbbn1BFEz8

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby Matthew Ellard » Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:08 am

How to swear in Russian 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ol0nD9Vmpc

( Disclaimer : Mr Ellard and Mr 753 are doing this research for educational purposes)

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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby JO 753 » Fri Jul 11, 2014 9:30 am

That guy iz great, blyat!
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Re: Crash Vidz

Postby Matthew Ellard » Sat Jul 12, 2014 3:23 am

JO 753 wrote:That guy iz great, blyat!
I'm going to try my new skills by saying блядь at the end of each sentence.

Пожалуйста, передайте мне сахар, блядь!

"Please pass me the sugar, you whore!"

Спасибо миссис Гурьев, сука
"Thank you Mrs Gurieff, you bitch"


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