The Corrupted Wish Game

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Gord
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Tue Jul 02, 2013 7:27 am

Granted, but now you can't read due to extreme dyslexia, so you're still going "what"? (Or, to put it another way: jiuce cat haqqyworbs rnu helq.)

I wish I had a Dilbert book to read that I haven't already read multiple times.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby nmblum88 » Tue Jul 02, 2013 8:41 am

Gord wrote:Granted, but now you can't read due to extreme dyslexia, so you're still going "what"? (Or, to put it another way: jiuce cat haqqyworbs rnu helq.)

I wish I had a Dilbert book to read that I haven't already read multiple times.



Why don't you just wish for someone to drive you to a library, or bookstore?
At least then you might actually have an actual book out of the game.



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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:02 am

Because I really needed to poop.

I like to read Dilbert in the bathroom.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Fri Jul 12, 2013 3:42 am

Gord wrote:
I wish I had a Dilbert book to read that I haven't already read multiple times.



Granted. As the dementia sets in, you always have a "new" Dilbert to read.


I wish that new movies were as good as the old ones.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Fri Jul 12, 2013 3:49 am

fromthehills wrote:Granted. As the dementia sets in, you always have a "new" Dilbert to read.

Hooray!

Seriously, if Heaven exists, it must be like that.

I wish that new movies were as good as the old ones.

Granted. All the old ones are now crap, so the new ones can be comparable to them.

I wish I had already done my homework and wasn't so lazy.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Sat Jul 13, 2013 2:27 pm

Gord wrote:
I wish I had already done my homework and wasn't so lazy.



What? That's two wishes. You can't have two wishes, it's cheating. And your homework was supposed to be done 30 years ago, showing just how lazy you are. Lazy builds up exponentially, and no amount of wishing can fix 30 years. Better luck next time.

I wish someone would call and say, " Hey, do you want all this free hay? Fresh cut, and we'll bring it to you and stack it."

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Sun Jul 14, 2013 2:36 am

fromthehills wrote:
Gord wrote:
I wish I had already done my homework and wasn't so lazy.



What? That's two wishes. You can't have two wishes, it's cheating. And your homework was supposed to be done 30 years ago, showing just how lazy you are. Lazy builds up exponentially, and no amount of wishing can fix 30 years. Better luck next time.

Worst fairy godmother evar.... :beee:

I wish someone would call and say, " Hey, do you want all this free hay? Fresh cut, and we'll bring it to you and stack it."

Granted. You have all of the hay. All of it. Fresh cut, in one gigantic stack. BOOM!

I wish I had a lambeosaurus that I could ride to the store.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Sun Jul 14, 2013 2:37 am

Gord wrote:
fromthehills wrote:
Gord wrote:
I wish I had already done my homework and wasn't so lazy.



What? That's two wishes. You can't have two wishes, it's cheating. And your homework was supposed to be done 30 years ago, showing just how lazy you are. Lazy builds up exponentially, and no amount of wishing can fix 30 years. Better luck next time.

Worst fairy godmother evar.... :beee:

I wish someone would call and say, " Hey, do you want all this free hay? Fresh cut, and we'll bring it to you and stack it."

Granted. You have all of the hay. All of it. Fresh cut, in one gigantic stack. BOOM!

I wish I had a lambeosaurus that I could ride to the store.


Granted, and it's really fast today because it's being chased by a hungry Tyrannosaur.

I wish I could NOT dream about the spiders I've seen.
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Sun Jul 14, 2013 2:46 am

Daedalus wrote:
I wish I could NOT dream about the spiders I've seen.



Granted. The spiders you've seen emit dream suppressing agents, therefore sucking the life out of any aspirations you have of your future. They get fat on hopes and dreams, until their bellies swell to a size of bursting goo all over your head whilst you sleep.


Gross. I wish my mind wasn't that way.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Sun Jul 14, 2013 2:48 am

fromthehills wrote:
Daedalus wrote:
I wish I could NOT dream about the spiders I've seen.



Granted. The spiders you've seen emit dream suppressing agents, therefore sucking the life out of any aspirations you have of your future. They get fat on hopes and dreams, until their bellies swell to a size of bursting goo all over your head whilst you sleep.


Gross. I wish my mind wasn't that way.


Oh god... :cry:

GRANTED (you bastard), your mind is now a thin soup leaking out of your ears.

I wish I could forget what you just posted FTH!!!
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Sun Jul 14, 2013 2:56 am

Granted. A parasite takes over your brain, sucking nutrients in that are vital to the function of your memory, rendering you virtually retarded. Worse, you know that you aren't retarded, you just can't remember how not to be.


I wish, hmmm, wish you all a good night.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Sun Jul 14, 2013 4:25 am

Granted. But we all waste it by sleeping through it.

I wish cows could fly so my heavy duty umbrella business will get customers.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Sun Jul 14, 2013 12:23 pm

Gord wrote:Granted. But we all waste it by sleeping through it.

I wish cows could fly so my heavy duty umbrella business will get customers.


Granted, but they're even better at it than hummingbirds, and polite with their business to boot! After a few years of heavy investment your business fails due to a total lack of crashing cows or cow patties.

I wish the {!#%@} Zimmerman coverage would END already.
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Sun Jul 14, 2013 12:31 pm

Granted. The Zimmerman was Gord's best model of umbrella, and you get splattered with fresh cow poo.


I wish coffee didn't jack my stomach up, I'd like a cup.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Sun Jul 14, 2013 12:34 pm

fromthehills wrote:Granted. The Zimmerman was Gord's best model of umbrella, and you get splattered with fresh cow poo.


I wish coffee didn't jack my stomach up, I'd like a cup.


Granted, your stomach feels lovely. Your colon however, makes some loud protests and you lavishly {!#%@} your pants.

I wish that my right eye would stop itching!
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Sun Jul 14, 2013 1:05 pm

Granted. Matthew 5:29


I wish I had a change of pants.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Sun Jul 14, 2013 1:14 pm

fromthehills wrote:Granted. Matthew 5:29


I wish I had a change of pants.


Granted, they are literally woven of live spiders.

I wish I hadn't just thought of spiders. :cry:
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby OlegTheBatty » Mon Jul 15, 2013 12:39 am

Granted. The spider thoughts are gone. In their place is an endless repetition of Abba singing 'Dancing Queen'.

I wish the universe would stop expanding for a while, and just sit still until we are finished studying it.
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Mon Jul 15, 2013 10:49 pm

Granted. Alas, we never stop studying it, and it falls asleep at the wheel and crashes into a ravine.

I wish eating Italian food for six days straight had taught me how to speak Italian.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Austin Harper » Mon Jul 15, 2013 11:00 pm

Granted. As long as you keep you mouth full and communicate only in gestures nobody in Italy has any trouble understanding you.

I wish my credit card number hadn't been stolen.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Mon Jul 15, 2013 11:04 pm

Austin Harper wrote:Granted. As long as you keep you mouth full and communicate only in gestures nobody in Italy has any trouble understanding you.

I wish my credit card number hadn't been stolen.


Granted, it was given by you in a drunken stupor, so the charges on it can't be refused.

I wish that I had the fifth season of Parks and Recreation on Netflix.
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Austin Harper » Mon Jul 15, 2013 11:58 pm

Aside: You know Season 5 is available on Hulu, right?
http://www.hulu.com/grid/parks-and-recreation?categories=episodes
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Tue Jul 16, 2013 2:06 am

Austin Harper wrote:Aside: You know Season 5 is available on Hulu, right?
http://www.hulu.com/grid/parks-and-recreation?categories=episodes


Yeah, but on Netflix it would be free. ;)
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Tue Jul 16, 2013 2:08 am

OlegTheBatty wrote:....... is an endless repetition of Abba singing 'Dancing Queen'.



You Bastard!

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Tue Jul 16, 2013 2:14 am

Daedalus wrote:
I wish that I had the fifth season of Parks and Recreation on Netflix.



Granted. You have it on Netflix, but your internet connection is {!#%@}, and it keeps pausing with whats-his-name with his eyes closed and a puckered mouth, ruining the manly image.

I wish I had built my house up here in Summit county, and owned a snow plow.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Tue Jul 16, 2013 3:44 am

fromthehills wrote:
Daedalus wrote:
I wish that I had the fifth season of Parks and Recreation on Netflix.



Granted. You have it on Netflix, but your internet connection is {!#%@}, and it keeps pausing with whats-his-name with his eyes closed and a puckered mouth, ruining the manly image.


You are full of Satan. :lol:
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Tue Jul 16, 2013 3:59 am

fromthehills wrote:I wish I had built my house up here in Summit county, and owned a snow plow.

Granted, but Satan moved in with you and global warming rusted your snow plow into a mass of swamp gas.

I wish I had a telescope that I could use to look at Venus.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Tue Jul 16, 2013 4:02 am

Gord wrote:
fromthehills wrote:I wish I had built my house up here in Summit county, and owned a snow plow.

Granted, but Satan moved in with you and global warming rusted your snow plow into a mass of swamp gas.

I wish I had a telescope that I could use to look at Venus.


Granted, but you test it by staring at the Sun for a while, with each eye. You no longer need a telescope.

I wish I still had some Loctite threadlocker.
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Tue Jul 16, 2013 4:05 am

Daedalus wrote:I wish I still had some Loctite threadlocker.

Granted. But since I don't know what it is, I mistakenly grant you a "locked tight thread locker".

I wish I understood why vanilla is black, but vanilla-flavoured foods are white.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
#ANDAMOVIE

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Tue Jul 16, 2013 4:10 am

Gord wrote:
Daedalus wrote:I wish I still had some Loctite threadlocker.

Granted. But since I don't know what it is, I mistakenly grant you a "locked tight thread locker".

I wish I understood why vanilla is black, but vanilla-flavoured foods are white.


Granted, but (true story here) the reality- that vanillin (which is used in most foods rather than actual vanilla) is a colorless liquid derived from wood-pulp, often as a result of paper manufacture- completely ends your love of vanilla flavored foods. Actual vanilla extract is used in such minute quantities that it adds no color, but unless you're eating at a restaurant, you're eating wood-pulp juice.

I wish I didn't know {!#%@} like that, and that "white truffle oil" flavor is a petroleum derivative.
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Austin Harper » Tue Jul 16, 2013 2:45 pm

Daedalus wrote:
Austin Harper wrote:Aside: You know Season 5 is available on Hulu, right?
http://www.hulu.com/grid/parks-and-recreation?categories=episodes

Yeah, but on Netflix it would be free. ;)

You know Hulu is free, right?
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Tue Jul 16, 2013 3:48 pm

Austin Harper wrote:
Daedalus wrote:
Austin Harper wrote:Aside: You know Season 5 is available on Hulu, right?
http://www.hulu.com/grid/parks-and-recreation?categories=episodes

Yeah, but on Netflix it would be free. ;)

You know Hulu is free, right?


I did not, last I checked to get what they think of as "premium" content you had to subscribe with $$. I'll check it out.
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby OlegTheBatty » Tue Jul 16, 2013 4:31 pm

Daedalus wrote:I wish I didn't know {!#%@} like that, and that "white truffle oil" flavor is a petroleum derivative.

Granted. As the Alzheimer's progresses, you know less and less, until, by the end of the day, you are signing your posts 'SweetPea'.

I wish I wasn't so mean.
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There is no statement so absurd that it has not been uttered by some philosopher. - Cicero

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Austin Harper » Tue Jul 16, 2013 5:27 pm

Granted, you're average.

I wish I was more awake right now.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Austin Harper » Tue Jul 16, 2013 5:27 pm

Granted, you're average.

I wish I was more awake right now.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Tue Jul 16, 2013 9:13 pm

Austin Harper wrote:Granted, you're average.

I wish I was more awake right now.



Granted. You are more awake than the average hibernating rodent in winter.

I wish I'd given my shoulder a bit more time.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Wed Jul 17, 2013 12:34 am

fromthehills wrote:I wish I'd given my shoulder a bit more time.

Granted. You bought your shoulder a wristwatch. Your shoulder took that as a hint and migrated down your arm.

I wish the building I'm in had a functioning lavatory.
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"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Wed Jul 17, 2013 12:47 am

Gord wrote:
fromthehills wrote:I wish I'd given my shoulder a bit more time.

Granted. You bought your shoulder a wristwatch. Your shoulder took that as a hint and migrated down your arm.

I wish the building I'm in had a functioning lavatory.



Granted. It functions as storage for your warden's porn collection.

I wish I had more time up here to just fell trees, get used to the altitude, drink beer, and stack logs with the tractor.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Wed Jul 17, 2013 3:38 am

fromthehills wrote:I wish I had more time up here to just fell trees, get used to the altitude, drink beer, and stack logs with the tractor.

Granted. Alas, the fell trees are actually trees "of an inhumanly cruel nature", and the get you while you're sleeping.

I wish I could just stop whatever I'm doing now and go do the thing I'm supposed to be doing.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Wed Jul 17, 2013 3:41 am

Gord wrote:
fromthehills wrote:I wish I had more time up here to just fell trees, get used to the altitude, drink beer, and stack logs with the tractor.

Granted. Alas, the fell trees are actually trees "of an inhumanly cruel nature", and the get you while you're sleeping.

I wish I could just stop whatever I'm doing now and go do the thing I'm supposed to be doing.


Granted, and it turns out that you were supposed to be scraping the glans of your penis with a cheese-grater. The next few minutes prove to be a singular and memorable experience for you and all involved.

I wish that for every crazy that drops away from this and other sites, a dozen more didn't show up.
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