Sex addiction ? No.

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Lance Kennedy
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Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Lance Kennedy » Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:48 am

Reference : New Scientist, 21 October 2017, page 25

Harvey Weinstein said : " I am not bad. I am ill. "
In other words, he was claiming to be a sex addict, referring to it as an illness.
How many of you, like me, would call that total bull dust ?

Apart from a small number of psychologists making money treating the so called disease, sex addiction is not seen as such by professionals. There is nothing abnormal about a man being obsessed with sex. There is nothing abnormal about a man who has the opportunity to have lots of sex with lots of women doing just that. Those concerned about being sex addicts are generally, like Weinstein, looking for an excuse for bad behaviour, or just feeling guilty.

Even though some less ethical therapists offer treatments for this probably mythical illness, there is no evidence that this treatment ever works.
Perhaps people should simply accept that a strong male sex drive is normal, and that some people lack the conscience to limit their response to it.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Bart Stewart » Tue Oct 31, 2017 3:42 am

Well, I don't know, is it any more unlikely than gambling addiction? It would be an addiction to the thrill of power. Sex addiction is not in the DSM-5, but it does seem to me that something as psychologically powerful as sex could become an addiction.

Not sure why you limit strong sex drive to males. Nymphomania is supposedly a real condition. In males it would be called the satyr complex. Maybe some other psychological condition underlies it. People do have pathological responses to sexual stress, why not an extreme requirement for sex?

Most articles that I found seem to back your view. Like this one . . .
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/263750.php

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby TJrandom » Tue Oct 31, 2017 3:49 am

Surely his sex days are over... that seems to be an illness to me - terminal, maybe.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Lance Kennedy » Tue Oct 31, 2017 3:56 am

I am sure, Bart, that the sex drive varies from person to person, so that each individual can be placed somewhere on the normal distribution curve for sex drive. And yes, this probably also applies to women. However, being at one end or another of a normal distribution curve is not generally regarded as an illness.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Tue Oct 31, 2017 5:06 am

Lance: you are just hanging labels on people.......or refusing to do it in this case..........or using the opposite of the label you are addressing?

Isn't the simple truth that sex addiction is real/rare/and an excuse offered by those who get caught?

I don't see any reason to think any differently.

Edit: since no one has defined the label.........I'll say I'm more comfortable saying "unhealthy preoccupation with sex" is real. It is more a sporadic failure to control than an ongoing everyday addiction (except in Harvey's Case?...and Bill cosby???). If this sex drive is a continuum, what should we call the far end of it, and why not an addiction?
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Gord » Tue Oct 31, 2017 10:23 am

Lance Kennedy wrote:In other words, he was claiming to be a sex addict, referring to it as an illness.

Whether or not sexual addiction is a real thing is a contentious issue: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_addiction
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Dimebag » Tue Oct 31, 2017 11:36 am

Maybe sex addiction is simply the inability to censor your behaviour. People who are used to getting what they want, like the uber rich big shots like Harvey, also think they can treat people like possessions for their own gratification. He is acting like an over privileged child, and now he has been caught he is pulling the mental illness card. There needs to be a strong message sent here, so that we don't allow this kind of misuse of power to be passed off. Come down with the full force of the law.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby gorgeous » Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:59 pm

Weinstein tells pals scandal happened so he could 'change the world ...



https://pagesix.com/.../weinstein-tells ... nge-the-...


14 hours ago - Disgraced Harvey Weinstein's been telling what friends he has left that there's a bigger reason he's embroiled in his ever-widening sexual ...
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby ElectricMonk » Tue Oct 31, 2017 3:43 pm

There are cases of brain damage which lead to constant, insatiable sex-drives, often with very inappropriate "partners".

It is possible that a PET/MRI scan of their brains might reveal some abnormalities.

but it's more likely that they are just a bunch of randy goats.
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Poodle » Tue Oct 31, 2017 4:22 pm

Lance Kennedy wrote:... However, being at one end or another of a normal distribution curve is not generally regarded as an illness.

Unless you're facing a lengthy jail term. Alternatively, Weinstein's Syndrome could soon be identified by a wealthy (well, wealthier than last week) Californian medic.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby OlegTheBatty » Tue Oct 31, 2017 5:21 pm

Any behaviour which elicits a dopamine surge can lead to addictive behaviours - gambling, sex, religion - even birdwatching if the birdwatcher gets the dopamine surge. These are not addictions in the sense of opioid addictions, which also have a biochemical component.

Behaviour addictions are not illnesses per se, but they can be difficult to change. From what I've read, cognitive behavioural therapy has a good track record.

A behavioural addiction is not an excuse for predatory behaviour, which is what Weinstein et al exhibit.
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:00 pm

Dimebag wrote:Maybe sex addiction is simply the inability to censor your behaviour. People who are used to getting what they want, like the uber rich big shots like Harvey, also think they can treat people like possessions for their own gratification.

1. Inability to censor/control ones self is a good idea here. It would express itself in a variable way.

2. but this is what caught my eye: "treat people like possessions"...because they are "powerful." Listening to that sting tape of Weinstein and the whiny begging nature of it, I got the image more of an demanding child. Being in the movie bizness, he probably watched too many James Bond films..................... but the actress wasn't following the script.

Fantasy and mental illness........never a good combo.

OH............and with that other guy newly named, and they both wanted to be watched while they masturbated? I don't get that at all. =======>ha, ha, showing I have "healthy" attitudes???????

Kevin Spacey. 26yo going on a 14 yo? I don't have the details, but that would be difficult to justify....... which I am willing to do, ...............when its justifiable. Jebus....I was innocent at 14................................ still am.
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Lance Kennedy » Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:50 pm

When I was a teenager or in my 20's, I would have shown all the symptoms of "sex addiction " if only (sigh) there had been willing women.
I suspect this is true for nearly every heterosexual guy. The difference between 'normal' and "sex addict " is opportunity.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Tue Oct 31, 2017 7:23 pm

There were lots of sheep. Reminds me of that old joke about sailors landing on sheep island. I'll tell it if you request. It might embarrass you otherwise.
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Aztexan » Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:13 pm

Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac - Henry Kissinger
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:25 pm

Only if you are into power. Not to be confused with self centeredness.........and other maladies.
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Lance Kennedy » Tue Oct 31, 2017 9:00 pm

Kissinger was right, though. The terrible three. Power, status, wealth. Those three make even an ugly man attractive to women.

I have no doubt that many of the women Weinstein had sex with were perfectly willing. However, he got too confident and over stepped the boundary. Not sex addiction. Just the normal male love of sex but with the restraints removed.

However, I am willing to bet that many of the women who had sex with him willingly will now change their minds and accuse him of forcing them. Human nature and the fact that human memory is highly malleable. We remember what we want to remember.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Tue Oct 31, 2017 9:30 pm

All I know is the sex drive..................but the psychiatrists, who some say are a scam, .... uniformly say that the activity demonstrated by Weinstein is all about "power." I think there is something there. When I was a kiddie, I used to imagine raping women, but then I wondered what we would talk about afterwards................so I totally had the equation wrong.

Ha, ha. When an older kiddie, I had several positions of power. Never occurred to me to use it in any other way than common courtesy. No woman ever came on to me, or vice versa. ..... never understood how workplace romances with married people could/should ever take place. Wifey used to laugh at me that I was a bit of a stick in the mud about such things................making me wonder about her.

Ah well..........Hollywood. Its one thing I really like about film noir. Usually, the babe is smart and takes advantage of the lunks around her. Linda Fliorintina (sp) was in an especially good one. Double crosses back and forth....she finally won. I like movies................. and turtles.
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby TJrandom » Tue Oct 31, 2017 10:14 pm

Dimebag wrote:Maybe sex addiction is simply the inability to censor your behaviour. People who are used to getting what they want, like the uber rich big shots like Harvey Trump, also think they can treat people like possessions for their own gratification. He is acting like an over privileged child, and now he has been caught he is pulling the mental illness card. There needs to be a strong message sent here, so that we don't allow this kind of misuse of power to be passed off. Come down with the full force of the law.


FIFY....

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Phoenix76 » Wed Nov 01, 2017 11:47 am

Ha, ha. When an older kiddie, I had several positions of power. Never occurred to me to use it in any other way than common courtesy. No woman ever came on to me, or vice versa. ..... never understood how workplace romances with married people could/should ever take place. Wifey used to laugh at me that I was a bit of a stick in the mud about such things................making me wonder about her.


I'm sorry for you BTC, never had a woman come on to you? Sad. As for the vice versa, well I had a bad reputation as a young bloke. And, believe me, the workplace romances were very real. Romance?? Well sexual addiction perhaps. And my wife never trusted me at work - she was quite correct.

So, it's different for all of us. Some, many, of us fall into the workplace trap. In fact, that's how I found my now wife of 35 years. She was, is, gorgeous, and as a normal randy bloke, I thought, yeah, I want to go there. No secrets between us, she knows full well the process.

But, I wouldn't like to be playing the game today. Too many rules, you can get into too much trouble. So just remember the good days, when office sex was all the go. It was the challenge. And believe me, the girls were just as bad as us blokes.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Poodle » Wed Nov 01, 2017 3:34 pm

!!!??? WTF???
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Wed Nov 01, 2017 5:15 pm

Phoenix.....there is a huge difference between meeting your wife to be at work, and being married and having an affair with another married woman at work. There should be a bright line between the two that even you can recognize.

........and no. men and women are not as randy as one another. Individuals here and there, time and place exceptions and so forth.........but as a group. Somehow.... getting pregnant and having a kiddie makes a difference.
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby TJrandom » Thu Nov 02, 2017 6:47 am

bobbo_the_Pragmatist wrote:Phoenix.....there is a huge difference between meeting your wife to be at work, and being married and having an affair with another married woman at work. There should be a bright line between the two that even you can recognize.

........and no. men and women are not as randy as one another. Individuals here and there, time and place exceptions and so forth.........but as a group. Somehow.... getting pregnant and having a kiddie makes a difference.


From what I saw in the workplace - the women were far more agressive than the men. Even the married ones. Maybe they were being ignored at home.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Thu Nov 02, 2017 8:43 am

TJ: With no fact basis at all, I'll wager: You never even noticed half the women you worked with and were overly impressed by the fewer aggressive ones.

Certainly, different people at different workplaces ......... experience different things..........plus: we perceive/remember much as we wish to.
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby TJrandom » Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:34 am

I ran IT with data centers, server rooms, backup facilities, etc. Online/real-time financial systems (banking, credit, asset management) that ran 24x7. Typically major maintenance needed to be done over holidays, when demand would be reduced, and this often required renting hotel rooms for the duration so that staff could get some rest during a 72hr-on duty shift. Those rooms were hotbeds for the hotties. I also learned that our server rooms were favorite daytime playgrounds - air conditioned and noisy, plus locked. My guess is that I saw more than most managers would have seen.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby gorgeous » Thu Nov 09, 2017 10:09 pm

Weinstein sounds like a sick pervert...he reportedly enjoyed the horror on women's faces...he sounds similar to Louis CK who wanted a woman to watch him....Louis has talked about his creepy behavior in his comedy act and knows he has problems....for insight read about Spacey's brother's account of the abuse their family had from their Nazi father...pics of porn on the walls and horrible abuse....he said his dad also had a troubled childhood which likely means he had been abused as a kid....Weinsten and Louis may have been abused....compulsive perversions often mean just that...Spacey's brother didn't have kids because he didn't want to pass on the abuse gene he said...abusers were often abused themselves...
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Aztexan » Sat Nov 11, 2017 1:36 am

How about those other 2 sick perverted {!#%@}, trump and Roy Moore? Christ what a couple of scumbags.
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Aztexan » Sat Nov 11, 2017 1:38 am

I remember when Weinstein was recorded on tape bragging about grabbing women by the pussy because he was rich. Wait, that was trump. That {!#%@} sick piece of {!#%@} should have his tiny dick and balls sliced off.
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby gorgeous » Sat Nov 11, 2017 3:47 pm

you are as creepy as they are...learn some manners...
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Aztexan » Sat Nov 11, 2017 5:13 pm

Lady, I'm a way better man than that rapist {!#%@} piece of {!#%@} racist moron you call your president.
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Phoenix76 » Thu Nov 16, 2017 10:47 am

Bobbo wrote:

........and no. men and women are not as randy as one another. Individuals here and there, time and place exceptions and so forth.........but as a group. Somehow.... getting pregnant and having a kiddie makes a difference.


Mate, don't know where you have been all your life, but it must have been dull. You have to be kidding to suggest that women are not as sexually aggressive as blokes, especially in the workplace. And no, not just individuals, time and place etc, they are as "bad" as men, perhaps even worse at times.

And as TJ suggests, yes the married ones could be worse than the singles. Hey, look sex makes the world go around, and it takes two to party, so why would one party be less aggressive than the other. And the majority of these women have no intention of getting involved in any romantic situation, they just love sex, same as a bloke.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Thu Nov 16, 2017 1:55 pm

I think the sexually aggressive women we all desired in our youth and more likely shun with some years, stick in your mind and the greater more conservative majority go unnoticed.

You hardly ever deal with analysis.

EG: take two groups that are exactly the same. Now...one group gets preggers when having sex and the other group does not. Will the two groups act entirely the same in all situations?
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Lance Kennedy » Thu Nov 16, 2017 6:44 pm

I agree with Bobbo on this one. My youth was very sadly, mostly virtuous. Not what I wanted. I would have LOVED to have met more randy women.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:58 pm

Years ago, some actress commented on the difference this way: "I don't know of a single girl that would get into a car of five guys she doesn't know for a ride to school, whereas I don't know of a guy who would not get into a car filled with girls."

Who would disagree? Yeah, I know..........Phoenix thinks that boomerang in his pocket would protect him. ((Note the parallel construction chosen to confuse Phoenix.===>Its a sarcastic joke.))
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby TJrandom » Fri Nov 17, 2017 7:47 am

There is a big difference between people who are in HS or college, and those who are in the workforce and thus free from the prying eyes of a spouse or SO for most of the day. After marriage and when working, I turned down more offers of sex than I have had partners - but thru HS, I only had one partner.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Fri Nov 17, 2017 9:20 am

TJ---I never had a single offer and I worked with lots of females. I complained about this to our Lead Psychiatrist and he said he never had an approach either. We both laughed at each other and ourselves. "We just don't give out that vibe."

Vibes............................... Ha, ha. Were you playing a guitar, drums, or samisen?
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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby TJrandom » Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:15 pm

I don`t think I gave off that vibe either. In fact I believe I was last in line in that regard - only approached as a last ditch effort by a horny female who had struck out with co-workers that day. But interestingly, most of mine were subordinates, so maybe they believed in the acceptability of such an affair.

There were times when this activity became a work problem – such as when arranging overseas work trips, and needing to know which staff could be sent together or not. My secretaries normally were attuned to the relationships and could make the proper determinations.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby Lance Kennedy » Fri Nov 17, 2017 7:13 pm

To TJ

The answer to your success may have been the fact that the women you talk of were subordinates. Three things that turn women on to a man are power, status and wealth. You had the status if you were their 'superior ' in the work place. The one time in my life when I became reasonably successful with women was when I worked as a scuba instructor. Suddenly I found myself very attractive to my female students. I believe the same thing applies to snow ski instructors too.

Most guys without that advantage have to work hard to make progress, and generally then with just the one woman.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Sat Nov 18, 2017 12:16 am

Speaking of vibes, and NO vibes, I've always had a hard and fast rule: if you are married, I don't even see you. even when I peruse a Craigslist advert re Married Woman who isn't happy at home....I just pass. Work whatever problem/issue you have out without the addition of an affair or fling....... even if the Hubby likes to watch. I think that is the vibe I give off. That, plus lots of people tell me I look like I'm mad, regardless of my feelings at the moment, and I'm never mad at work, and hardly ever at home...... how often can a spring loaded part go off before you note which side the washer went on? Had an almost as firm rule about dating co-workers. I say almost because while I never did, I did think about it...women who work in different departments, NEVER a direct subordinate. It would be like cheating on a business expense: simply not worth it.

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Re: Sex addiction ? No.

Postby TJrandom » Sat Nov 18, 2017 6:57 am

Lance Kennedy wrote:To TJ

The answer to your success may have been the fact that the women you talk of were subordinates. Three things that turn women on to a man are power, status and wealth. You had the status if you were their 'superior ' in the work place. The one time in my life when I became reasonably successful with women was when I worked as a scuba instructor. Suddenly I found myself very attractive to my female students. I believe the same thing applies to snow ski instructors too.

Most guys without that advantage have to work hard to make progress, and generally then with just the one woman.


Not success - at least in the way that I believe you meant... Since all were spurned. But success from my standpoint, since by rejecting them I was able to keep them as valuable employees.

But I do acknowledge the boss/subordinate `vibe` you highlite. Here it is my understanding that many (most?) male bosses have a subordinate mistress at some time - thus is `accepted`. I lived thru the HIV scare years and saw the bed-hopping that was taking place with my staff - and wanted no part of that, plus of course being happily married. I was never seriously tempted.


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