Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by TJrandom » Sun May 27, 2018 8:20 am

Impossible (Try it, you`ll like it...)

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Major Malfunction » Sun May 27, 2018 8:23 am

{!#%@} that {!#%@}.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by TJrandom » Sun May 27, 2018 8:35 am

Today while trimming various shrubs, 7 fist-sized turban shellfish, called sazai in Japanese, fell into my hands, so I grilled them for supper. With a green salad as a starter and fresh pineapple as desert… delicious! My neighbor`s BIL is a fisherman and these sazai were larger than they prefer. I`ll pass along some zucchini now and some honey come autumn.

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Major Malfunction » Sun May 27, 2018 9:02 am

That's rayciss!
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by TJrandom » Sun May 27, 2018 9:04 am

Major Malfunction wrote:That's rayciss!
Not in Japanese... :mrgreen:

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Major Malfunction » Sun May 27, 2018 9:54 am

Do mollusks grow on trees in Japan? This land is sounding curiouser and curiouser. I may have to visit one day on a scientific expedition. ;)
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Sun May 27, 2018 9:59 am

Major Malfunction wrote:My favourite is the McFeast, an Australian-only menu item. Kinda like a Quarter Pounder, but better. More salad and sauce. But it still doesn't stand against a Whopper with bacon.

And you guys have no {!#%@} idea how {!#%@} those burgers are compared to any local fish 'n chip shop burgers around here. You Yanks would just {!#%@} lose your minds. That goes for pizza, too. It's my strong opinion that Melbourne has the best pizzas in the world. We have a large Italian population from refugees after WW2, and they went on to open many restaurants and takeaway joints.

You guys talking about your crappy fast food, I just feel sorry for you in your little, pitiful existence.
The droids eat fast food. I like Which Wich.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Major Malfunction » Sun May 27, 2018 10:12 am

I can't speak for that specifically, but generally any Yanky chainstore is utter crap compared to any local shop around here. I don't understand how Starbucks got any foothold here. Any local cafe has better coffee. You can literally walk nextdoor and get better and cheaper coffee. I don't know why the hipster sheepeles fall for that dirty dishwater brand when we have such an abundance of great food options.

Find a good local, and stick with them, I say.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Sun May 27, 2018 10:17 am

Oh, Canada... :wedgie:
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Gord » Sun May 27, 2018 9:55 pm

Major Malfunction wrote:...I don't understand how Starbucks got any foothold here. Any local cafe has better coffee. You can literally walk nextdoor and get better and cheaper coffee. I don't know why the hipster sheepeles fall for that dirty dishwater brand....
Starbucks is expensive, oily, and trendy. That's three things hipsters like!
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by scrmbldggs » Sun May 27, 2018 10:03 pm

Major Malfunction wrote:Do mollusks grow on trees in Japan? This land is sounding curiouser and curiouser. I may have to visit one day on a scientific expedition. ;)
Nah, "fell into his hands" is the same as "fell off a truck boat". :-P
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Gord » Sun May 27, 2018 10:18 pm

scrmbldggs wrote:
Major Malfunction wrote:Do mollusks grow on trees in Japan? This land is sounding curiouser and curiouser. I may have to visit one day on a scientific expedition. ;)
Nah, "fell into his hands" is the same as "fell off a truck boat". :-P
It's his neighbour's brother-in-law who was growing on the tree.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by scrmbldggs » Sun May 27, 2018 11:05 pm

Gord wrote:
scrmbldggs wrote:
Major Malfunction wrote:Do mollusks grow on trees in Japan? This land is sounding curiouser and curiouser. I may have to visit one day on a scientific expedition. ;)
Nah, "fell into his hands" is the same as "fell off a truck boat". :-P
It's his neighbour's brother-in-law who was growing on the tree.
May he enjoy some zucchini now and honey later. :-P
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by OlegTheBatty » Sun May 27, 2018 11:10 pm

Gord wrote:
scrmbldggs wrote:
Major Malfunction wrote:Do mollusks grow on trees in Japan? This land is sounding curiouser and curiouser. I may have to visit one day on a scientific expedition. ;)
Nah, "fell into his hands" is the same as "fell off a truck boat". :-P
It's his neighbour's brother-in-law who was growing on the tree.
His neighbor's sister married a burl?
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Gord » Mon May 28, 2018 12:50 am

OlegTheBatty wrote:
Gord wrote:
scrmbldggs wrote:
Major Malfunction wrote:Do mollusks grow on trees in Japan? This land is sounding curiouser and curiouser. I may have to visit one day on a scientific expedition. ;)
Nah, "fell into his hands" is the same as "fell off a truck boat". :-P
It's his neighbour's brother-in-law who was growing on the tree.
His neighbor's sister married a burl?
Did someone say birling?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upsZZ2s3xv8

For he goes birling down and down white water
That's where the log driver learns to step lightly
Yes, birling down and down white water
The log driver's waltz pleases girls completely!
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Major Malfunction » Mon May 28, 2018 9:16 am

Gord wrote:
scrmbldggs wrote:
Major Malfunction wrote:Do mollusks grow on trees in Japan? This land is sounding curiouser and curiouser. I may have to visit one day on a scientific expedition. ;)
Nah, "fell into his hands" is the same as "fell off a truck boat". :-P
It's his neighbour's brother-in-law who was growing on the tree.
I think it a much more likely scenario that the BIL was stealing TJ's tree mollusks when TJ inadvertently trimmed the branch he was sitting on, causing him to lose his grip and drop his snails.

Or, he could have been in the tree trying to get a look in the upper bedroom window, and using the mollusks for his personal gratification. Nothing about Japan would surprise me. The shame is TJ already ate the mollusks...
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by TJrandom » Mon May 28, 2018 2:13 pm

Major Malfunction wrote:
Gord wrote:
scrmbldggs wrote:
Major Malfunction wrote:Do mollusks grow on trees in Japan? This land is sounding curiouser and curiouser. I may have to visit one day on a scientific expedition. ;)
Nah, "fell into his hands" is the same as "fell off a truck boat". :-P
It's his neighbour's brother-in-law who was growing on the tree.
I think it a much more likely scenario that the BIL was stealing TJ's tree mollusks when TJ inadvertently trimmed the branch he was sitting on, causing him to lose his grip and drop his snails.

Or, he could have been in the tree trying to get a look in the upper bedroom window, and using the mollusks for his personal gratification. Nothing about Japan would surprise me. The shame is TJ already ate the mollusks...
Yup... busted.

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Major Malfunction » Mon May 28, 2018 2:29 pm

Thus no DNA evidence of snail abuse. The perfect crime.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by JO 753 » Mon May 28, 2018 7:25 pm

Another fine contrast between TJ'z Japaneze paradise and JO'z American hell hole:

I wuz shaking a tree in my yard this morning and a Russian wearing a MAGA hat fell on me.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Major Malfunction » Mon May 28, 2018 7:56 pm

And you wonder why you're fat.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by scrmbldggs » Mon May 28, 2018 8:11 pm

Hey, that hat at least has resale value! (But don't tell the gift shop owner about that.)
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Jeffk 1970 » Mon May 28, 2018 8:13 pm

JO 753 wrote:Another fine contrast between TJ'z Japaneze paradise and JO'z American hell hole:

I wuz shaking a tree in my yard this morning and a Russian wearing a MAGA hat fell on me.

LOL
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Major Malfunction » Mon May 28, 2018 8:23 pm

T'hat's gotta be a bit of a squeeze to push t'hat out.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Gord » Mon May 28, 2018 11:00 pm

You should not eat hats.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Tue May 29, 2018 1:10 am

Gord wrote:You should not eat hats.
'hats what you think.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by TJrandom » Wed May 30, 2018 8:39 am

I picked just over a quart of gooseberries and they are being turned into jam as I type… my favorite.

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Wed May 30, 2018 4:53 pm

Tommy Roe - Jam Up Jelly Tight (1970) - YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmwcaP2wwEg
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Wed May 30, 2018 10:47 pm

I LUV----working with my gubment. Had some issue with my routing number to get Soc Sec checks deposited to my account....so I called SS to get it resolved and after one hour waits on the phone each time: First call almost resolved my issue but "a problem appeared" and as the clerk researched the issue, I got dropped into the Satisfaction Survey. Next call: the problem was not named but to clear it up I had to make an appointment with my local SS office. I have learned if you don't get what you want from one clerk....call again and get another one. So I did....and third call...went smooth as silk...no problems came up...everything settled.

Now, all I have to do is wait 2 weeks to see if all that cash comes flowing in. I'm thinking: probably will..... but I wouldn't bet my life on it............
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Wed May 30, 2018 10:50 pm

My mulberry "tree"/bush? is full of fruit right now. Easy pick, just look at the berries and they fall off. Not any flavor though. Why don't strawberries grow on such a tree? Jam up....and Jelly tight.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Matthew Ellard » Thu May 31, 2018 6:49 am

Hi there everyone.

I have some bad news and some good news.

Sadly, one of our twins was displaying heart stress in the womb and thus the medical staff decided to undertake an emergency c-section that same morning (24th March). Thus both twins were born eight weeks premature. After a week it became obvious that the weaker twin was not able to self regulate his own carbon dioxide blood levels and was "over toned" (meaning no muscle control). An MRI indicated that the twin had suffered a severe blood clot at some point during the pregnancy, to his brain stem and was suffering other multiple problems. Upon advice from many medical professionals we mutually decided to remove John Henri's breathing tube and he passed away in our arms two weeks after his birth. I can't express how crushing that was.

The good news is that we could transfer all our emotion to our other son. Although a "premy" (premature) he was thriving and as the next eight weeks unfolded, his CPAP breathing mask was removed, then his nose feeding tube was removed, his heart and breathing monitor was removed and eventually we had a totally nude and healthy baby. Two weeks ago we were allowed to take him home. His is absolutely healthy, sleeps next to us and has doubled his birth weight. His name is Auguste Charles or "Augie Pussgang" or "Auges" for short.

Amanda and I are fine and no longer upset. In this modern world, medicine tries to achieve zero infant mortality, which is a good goal, but not really achievable. Although, at the time, I wished and wished this was not happening, bad news has to happen to some couples. It happened to us. That's the way it is.

Anyhow, let's all be cheerful for Auguste and talk about happy topics. I will try re engage with the forum over the next couple of weeks.

Matthew
:D

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by JO 753 » Thu May 31, 2018 7:22 am

Welkum bak.

Not a moment too soon, kuz the denierz are making substantial hedway. They hav persuaded haf the interwebz that Hitler wuz really THE Messiah alien and ferried all thoze Jewz to the promised planet and faked their deaths with mindless clonez. WW2 wuz a big distraction to cover up the operation.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by TJrandom » Thu May 31, 2018 7:57 am

Sorry you had to go thru that... May Auges live long and prosper!

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Gord » Thu May 31, 2018 8:42 am

Sorry to hear about your bad news, but glad of the good news and even gladder to have you back.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by scrmbldggs » Thu May 31, 2018 3:11 pm

So sorry to hear about your heartache, very happy for your joy. :ahoy: Here's to Auges, who's as brave as his mother and will put up with Matthew. Am looking forward to many stories about his adventures with all of you. :-D
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Aztexan » Thu May 31, 2018 5:13 pm

Matthew, I am so sorry about John Henri but am glad Auges will have such a loving father and mother to teach him about life and how to be a good human being.
Sending all my love to you and yours, from me and mine!

:heart: :heart: :heart:
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Matthew Ellard » Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:04 am

I love feeding Auguste his bottle at the midnight and 3am feeds. I place him on a pillow between my legs, on his back, facing me and put my feet up on the coffee table. He stares at me and I stare at him. I then practice my interrogation techniques.

Matthew : "Do you know what we do with babies that refuse to talk?!?"
Auguste : "Gurgle....gurgle....grunt grunt..."
Matthew : "We feed them milk until they pop!!!" (shoves bottle in Auge's mouth)
Auguste : "suck suck suck....breath breath breath....grunt grunt...suck suck suck"
Matthew : "Soooo.... Mr Auguste Pussgang.....If you like milk so much ....try this!!!!"
Auguste : "suck suck suck....breath breath breath....grunt grunt...suck suck suck"

(20 minutes later)

Matthew : "Soooo.... Mr Auguste Pussgang.....are you going to talk yet?"
Amanda's voice from bedroom : "Can you two shut up. I'm trying to get some sleep"
:D

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Aztexan » Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:20 am

Haha! Little Auges has you monologuing!
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Major Malfunction » Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:37 am

It's all fun and games until someone projectile vomits.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Jeffk 1970 » Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:57 am

Matthew Ellard wrote:I love feeding Auguste his bottle at the midnight and 3am feeds. I place him on a pillow between my legs, on his back, facing me and put my feet up on the coffee table. He stares at me and I stare at him. I then practice my interrogation techniques.

Matthew : "Do you know what we do with babies that refuse to talk?!?"
Auguste : "Gurgle....gurgle....grunt grunt..."
Matthew : "We feed them milk until they pop!!!" (shoves bottle in Auge's mouth)
Auguste : "suck suck suck....breath breath breath....grunt grunt...suck suck suck"
Matthew : "Soooo.... Mr Auguste Pussgang.....If you like milk so much ....try this!!!!"
Auguste : "suck suck suck....breath breath breath....grunt grunt...suck suck suck"

(20 minutes later)

Matthew : "Soooo.... Mr Auguste Pussgang.....are you going to talk yet?"
Amanda's voice from bedroom : "Can you two shut up. I'm trying to get some sleep"
:D

LOL
Revel in being a goofy dad. I do.
A joke going around Moscow during The Great Terror:

The NKVD knocks on a door.
The inhabitants ask who it is.
“NKVD.”
“You’ve got the wrong apartment. The Communists are upstairs.”

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Post by Jeffk 1970 » Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:57 am

Major Malfunction wrote:It's all fun and games until someone projectile vomits.

That’s when you hand them to the in-laws.
A joke going around Moscow during The Great Terror:

The NKVD knocks on a door.
The inhabitants ask who it is.
“NKVD.”
“You’ve got the wrong apartment. The Communists are upstairs.”

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