Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

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Gord
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Gord » Wed Aug 23, 2017 2:02 pm

Matthew Ellard wrote:...I have never been to the USA before....

Don't get waterboarded! :wave:
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Gord » Wed Aug 23, 2017 2:43 pm

"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
#ANDAMOVIE

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Wed Aug 23, 2017 6:38 pm

Gord wrote:
Matthew Ellard wrote:...I have never been to the USA before....

Don't get waterboarded! :wave:


Do they normally waterboard before deportation? :sinking:

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Gord » Fri Aug 25, 2017 5:30 pm

TJrandom wrote:
Gord wrote:
Matthew Ellard wrote:...I have never been to the USA before....

Don't get waterboarded! :wave:

Do they normally waterboard before deportation? :sinking:

Nothing to do with deportation, they just normally waterboard.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Nikki Nyx » Fri Aug 25, 2017 7:51 pm

Matthew Ellard wrote:I will be away until early to mid September. We will have stop off in Hawaii!
Have a safe and enjoyable trip!
What are the facts? Again and again and again-what are the facts? Shun wishful thinking, ignore divine revelation, forget what “the stars foretell,” avoid opinion, care not what the neighbors think, never mind the unguessable “verdict of history”--what are the facts, and to how many decimal places? You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your single clue. Get the facts!
—Lazarus Long, from Time Enough for Love, by Robert A. Heinlein

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Tue Aug 29, 2017 12:17 pm

Spring is almost here, and I have a new date! We're going to perform an informal fertility ritual.

This has been one of the coldest, most miserable Melbourne winters in a long time. The goddess needs all the praise she can get.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Nikki Nyx » Wed Aug 30, 2017 4:54 am

Major Malfunction wrote:Spring is almost here, and I have a new date! We're going to perform an informal fertility ritual.

This has been one of the coldest, most miserable Melbourne winters in a long time. The goddess needs all the praise she can get.
I just had the most ridiculous self-centric moment of duh when I read, "Spring is almost here." My first thought was, "What in hell are you talking about, Major? We gotta get through fall and winter first!" :roll:

You know, I actually do read quite a bit, and am fully aware that it's only Summer in my hemisphere. Yet my brain persists on having blonde moments...and I'm not blonde. :mrgreen: However, it does thoroughly oil my gears when I laugh at myself at times like this instead of ridiculously getting mad at myself for having a brain fart. ;)

Best of luck on your date!
What are the facts? Again and again and again-what are the facts? Shun wishful thinking, ignore divine revelation, forget what “the stars foretell,” avoid opinion, care not what the neighbors think, never mind the unguessable “verdict of history”--what are the facts, and to how many decimal places? You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your single clue. Get the facts!
—Lazarus Long, from Time Enough for Love, by Robert A. Heinlein

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Wed Aug 30, 2017 10:13 am

I`m fairly sure that luck doesn`t matter once he is on his date. :lol:

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Poodle » Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:36 am

Major Malfunction wrote:Spring is almost here, and I have a new date! We're going to perform an informal fertility ritual.

This has been one of the coldest, most miserable Melbourne winters in a long time. The goddess needs all the praise she can get.


It's been almost 24 hours, MM. That means either it was a roaring success or a dismal failure. Spill the beans.

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:57 am

Maybe he is still tied up...

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Wed Aug 30, 2017 4:22 pm

Hasn't happened... Yet. ;)

That is, of course, my goal.

But she's a very proper (and very pretty) Chinese girl. So all the proper steps need to be taken in order.

I'm sure things will go well. It's actually our fourth date, and we get along really well.

It's going to be fun. I've made a checklist of all the things we need to do to satisfy the Spring Goddess of Fertility, and we're going to try to do them all in one date in the city. And take pix, or it didn't happen. ;)

Kind of a treasure hunt. :D
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby scrmbldggs » Wed Aug 30, 2017 4:29 pm

Be sure sensitive places are well protected when jumping over that fire!


Wishing you a good landing. :-D
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Wed Aug 30, 2017 4:41 pm

Nikki Nyx wrote:I just had the most ridiculous self-centric moment of duh when I read, "Spring is almost here." My first thought was, "What in hell are you talking about, Major? We gotta get through fall and winter first!" :roll:

When your life is {!#%@}, mine is awesome. So suffer in ya jocks. :P

(And vice versa. :( )
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Wed Aug 30, 2017 4:47 pm

scrmbldggs wrote:Be sure sensitive places are well protected when jumping over that fire!

Wishing you a good landing. :-D

You know me too well. :)

I've reduced the standard to just touching fire, so as not to scare her off too soon.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby scrmbldggs » Wed Aug 30, 2017 4:52 pm

No doubt you'll plant that. :-P
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Wed Aug 30, 2017 4:54 pm

It could be a candle on our dinner table. Low standards = higher success rates.

(And I look better in dim lighting)
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Poodle » Wed Aug 30, 2017 5:21 pm

Major Malfunction wrote:It could be a candle on our dinner table. Low standards = higher success rates.

(And I look better in dim lighting with the lights out)

FTFY

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Wed Aug 30, 2017 7:34 pm

I never picked you as one to kiss and tell, Poods.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Nikki Nyx » Fri Sep 01, 2017 1:03 am

Major Malfunction wrote:
Nikki Nyx wrote:I just had the most ridiculous self-centric moment of duh when I read, "Spring is almost here." My first thought was, "What in hell are you talking about, Major? We gotta get through fall and winter first!" :roll:

When your life is {!#%@}, mine is awesome. So suffer in ya jocks. :P

(And vice versa. :( )
My life is never {!#%@}. When it appears to be {!#%@}, I just change my position. Perspective is everything. :P
What are the facts? Again and again and again-what are the facts? Shun wishful thinking, ignore divine revelation, forget what “the stars foretell,” avoid opinion, care not what the neighbors think, never mind the unguessable “verdict of history”--what are the facts, and to how many decimal places? You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your single clue. Get the facts!
—Lazarus Long, from Time Enough for Love, by Robert A. Heinlein

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Sat Sep 02, 2017 1:59 pm

Poodle wrote:Spill the beans.

The Spring Goddess decided tonight wasn't one to be out and about with inclement weather, so she suggested a mall date. I've never been on a mall date before. I thought only teenagers did that, but apparently so do Asians.

And it was lovely. We get along really well. Promises for the next!
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Sat Sep 02, 2017 5:53 pm

Nikki Nyx wrote:My life is never {!#%@}. When it appears to be {!#%@}, I just change my position. Perspective is everything. :P

Did you just buy a Squatty Potty?
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Sat Sep 02, 2017 6:28 pm

TMI...

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Mon Sep 04, 2017 5:35 pm

I had my pre-surgery scan with mixed results. They will go ahead, even though they still say technically inoperable, or borderline. With continued chemo, the situation isn`t expected to improve, so they and I will take the risk. Remaining hopeful! October 2nd.

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby scrmbldggs » Mon Sep 04, 2017 6:39 pm

All the very best, TJ!
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Nikki Nyx » Mon Sep 04, 2017 6:53 pm

Major Malfunction wrote:
Nikki Nyx wrote:My life is never {!#%@}. When it appears to be {!#%@}, I just change my position. Perspective is everything. :P

Did you just buy a Squatty Potty?
:blink: You mean, did I waste money on an overpriced footstool?
What are the facts? Again and again and again-what are the facts? Shun wishful thinking, ignore divine revelation, forget what “the stars foretell,” avoid opinion, care not what the neighbors think, never mind the unguessable “verdict of history”--what are the facts, and to how many decimal places? You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your single clue. Get the facts!
—Lazarus Long, from Time Enough for Love, by Robert A. Heinlein

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby JO 753 » Mon Sep 04, 2017 8:01 pm

Its not available yet, but still interesting, TJ: Ethenol injected to kill tumorz
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Thu Sep 14, 2017 12:20 pm

Harvested honey today - from 4 hives stealing about 14 quarts, making sure that I left enough for them to overwinter. Still have some cleanup to do tomorrow, and 2 quarts of now cooling wash-up water to partake with lemon juice over the week ahead.

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby JO 753 » Thu Sep 14, 2017 3:05 pm

And here near Hell'z Gate Illinois, I harvested 5 poundz uv black walnuts wich yielded 6 ounsez uv edible stuff! All for only 3 owrz uv work!
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Thu Sep 14, 2017 7:05 pm

JO 753 wrote:And here near Hell'z Gate Illinois, I harvested 5 poundz uv black walnuts wich yielded 6 ounsez uv edible stuff! All for only 3 owrz uv work!


I believe that record will be hard to crack...

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby JO 753 » Thu Sep 14, 2017 11:33 pm

Thats the key fraze - hard to crack. They are about 4 timez harder than an English walnut.

Their final defensiv measure agenst being eaten iz bad taste.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Thu Sep 14, 2017 11:38 pm

Don`t be too hard on yourself - I suspect that in other areas your taste in things is just fine.

BTW - how do you smash those things - 20lb sledge?

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby JO 753 » Fri Sep 15, 2017 9:18 am

I crunch them in my jiant bench vise and then uze nail clipperz to fragment the inner and outer convolusionz uv the shell to release the nuts. Very tedius.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Fri Sep 15, 2017 11:28 am

You need a hobby.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Fri Sep 15, 2017 5:44 pm

JO 753 wrote:I crunch them in my jiant bench vise and then uze nail clipperz to fragment the inner and outer convolusionz uv the shell to release the nuts. Very tedius.


What is the best crunch positioning - sidewise, or top/bottom, or does it not matter? Also - one crunch or two?

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby JO 753 » Fri Sep 15, 2017 7:13 pm

It wuz a hobby, MM. Or an experiment. Not sure.

Usually wuns, end to end, but sumtimez the shell woud be kinda springy, so I'd crunch agen sidewayz.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Sat Sep 16, 2017 9:50 pm

JO 753 wrote:It wuz a hobby, MM. Or an experiment. Not sure.

Usually wuns, end to end, but sumtimez the shell woud be kinda springy, so I'd crunch agen sidewayz.


Sheesh! I wanted to see the comparative data, probability of full half unbroken extractions, average weight of pieces, etc. Some researcher you are... :roll: :D

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Matthew Ellard » Mon Sep 18, 2017 3:09 am

Hello everyone.

My first compliment goes to the people of Hawaii. They really are warm and friendly people. The only abrupt people were the homeland immigration officers. I walked up, with Amanda to the immigration desk and the bloke said "Are you married?" and when I said "no" he sent me back into the line to wait my turn. Fair enough. :D

The other thing that made me wonder was whether very mad people have been somewhat hidden in the old surf culture. In Australia, the very mad people end up in government hospitals. You don't see them that often. However in Hawaii there were quite a few very mad people getting on buses and, at first glance they looked like surfers, but they were just crazy homeless people. If one of these people stopped talking to a wall and informed me he was called "Moondoggy" I would have agreed.

On the other hand I forgot that flying to Hawaii means you leave Sydney at 5pm on Wednesday afternoon and then arrive in Hawaii at 6am on the same Wednesday morning. We didn't book an early "check in" and had a sleep at some new shopping complex in Waikiki, as it was air conditioned. The security officer who chased us out is probably complaining about Australian homeless people invading Hawaii.
:D

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Matthew Ellard » Mon Sep 18, 2017 3:30 am

TJrandom wrote:Sounds like a cruise...
nope. Standard sub based ICBM.

My mission was to launch an old USA Polaris missile at Pyongyang. Pongyang would them launch at the USA. The USA would launch at North Korea, Pakistan and China. China and Russia would then launch at the USA. The UK and France would then launch at Russia and China. Australia would then come the new Pacific superpower!

The problem was I couldn't work out where to hold the match to light the fuse.
:D
polaris.jpg
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Mon Sep 18, 2017 4:27 am

How are you even allowed to have matches?
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Matthew Ellard » Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:51 am

Major Malfunction wrote:How are you even allowed to have matches?
Considering this was my first trip to the USA, I didn't take anything, say anything or do anything but, instead made myself as invisible as possible.

However........ I was leaning against the hotel reception desk and asked the receptionist : "Why was Hawaii Five O called Hawaii five O?". He said "I think that's because it was the fiftieth state to join the USA". Everyone agreed. So I said "So was there an earlier TV police show called Alaska Forty Nine?" Everyone looked at me as if I was mentally enfeebled.
:D

I'm 56. I remember watching this TV show with my mother in the mid 1960s. I now realise Hawaii was exotic and strange to mainland Americans back then.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8SSvcJ6VKw


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